Healing Light

Today I finished my radiation treatments. I never thought I would make it. Every single day it was like that for me.

I cannot thank enough the amazing staff at the Radiation Department of University of Michigan Hospital that worked every day to get me through, who were so very very kind and gentle with me. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

Here is to healing light that it may touch all of us when and where we need it the most.

-bbffair

Shiva and Shakti Dancing

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File%3AShiva_dancing_Tandava.jpg

Shiva Dancing

I found these awesome photographs of statues of Shiva dancing that I thought I would post today. This is definitely in the zone. This is how the body feels when it is free and light and dancing, when you let go and become one with your movement and your life force.

These beautiful statues led me on a journey to re-look up Shiva and Shakti, who is his counter-part. I love it when mythology shows up and calls out. There is always some morsel of something potent that is there.

This is some of what I found:


On Wikipedia:

"Shiva (ta: சிவன் ) ; ( /ˈʃɪvə/; Sanskrit: शिव Śiva, meaning "auspicious one") is a major Hindu deity, and is the destroyer god or transformer among the Trimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine. God Shiva is a yogi who has notice of everything that happens in the world and is the main aspect of life. Yet one with great power lives a life of a sage at Mount Kailash.^[2] In the Shaiva tradition of Hinduism, Shiva is seen as the Supreme God. In the Smarta tradition, he is regarded as one of the five primary forms of God.^[3] Followers of Hinduism who focus their worship upon Shiva are called Shaivites or Shaivas (Sanskrit Śaiva).^[4] Shaivism, along with Vaiṣṇava traditions that focus on Vishnu and Śākta traditions that focus on the goddess Shakti, is one of the most influential denominations in Hinduism.^[3]
Lord Shiva is usually worshipped in the abstract form of Shiva linga. In images, He is represented as a handsome^[5] young man^[6] immersed in deep meditation or dancing the Tandava upon Apasmara, the demon of ignorance in his manifestation of Nataraja, the Lord of the dance, goodness, humility, and every good quality a human should have. It is said that He looks like an eternal youth because of his authority over death, rebirth and immortality. He is also the father of Ganesha and Murugan ; (ta முருகன் ) ;(Kartikeya)."

and

"Shakti (Devanagari: शक्ति) from Sanskrit shak - "to be able," meaning sacred force or empowerment, is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe in Hinduism.^[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and creativity/fertility, though it is also present in males in its potential, unmanifest form.^[2]

The Kundalini-shakti from the Yoga tradition: life force/sexual energy that can be awakened for conscious creativity.

Not only is the Shakti responsible for creation, it is also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the Kundalini Shakti,^[3] a mysterious psychospiritual force.^[4] Shakti exists in a state of svātantrya, dependence on no-one, being interdependent with the entire universe.
In Shaktism, Shakti is worshiped as the Supreme Being. However, in other Hindu traditions of Shaivism and Vaishnavism, Shakti embodies the active feminine energy Prakriti of Purusha, who is Vishnu in Vaishnavism or Shiva in Shaivism. Vishnu's female counterpart is called Lakshmi, with Parvati being the female half of Shiva."

More simply,  the male Shiva, embodies transformation, and the female Shakti creativity.

I found a poem on http://swamij.com  (http://swamij.com/loop-secret-shiva-shakti.htm):

The Secret of Shiva and Shakti Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati(endless audio loop*)

Shiva and Shakti are one and the same. There is no place that He is not. There is no place that She is not. They are one and the same. She is in every thing. She is in every word. She is all there is. See Her in all things. Hear Her in all sounds. Know Her in all thoughts. Feel Her in all feelings. She is all there is. She is the one in the three worlds**. Shiva and Shakti are one and the same. That is the secret. (Shiva is the universal latent or masculine energy, and Shakti is the universal active or feminine energy.)

 But, for me, it feels very much like the statues tell it all. There is beauty that dances, life in movement and movement in life.

On the dancing path, one may only sense that freedom at first, but as the body lightens up, when one begins to embody that lightness, the dance become exquisite.

What's not to love about a dancing entity?

-bbffair

Chola dynasty statue depicting Shiva dancing as Nataraja (Los Angeles County Museum of Art)  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shiva

Breast Cancer Hurts

Breast Cancer Hurts

 I have had 11 radiation treatments out of a prescribed 30 treatment schedule so far that I began on October 27th.

After 6 treatments, I felt I could not go on. But my medical team convinced me to continue. This is a hard, hard road to travel, a day-by-day one.

This past October was Breast Cancer Awareness month and wow, I have never been so aware of it.

I cannot stress enough how much we need our health and good living and even then, this miserable disease can strike.

First the fear. Then the shock. Then the surgery.  The pain of surgery and the relief of getting the disease out of you in time. They got it all. They got clear margins. The surgery included taking two lymph nodes to see if it had traveled. Both were clean. Another blessing. But sooner or later you have to look in the mirror and face the shock and loss that comes with missing a part of yourself. I had a lumpectomy, but anyway you slice it, it is a partial masectomy and they take more than a lump. And then there is the too long recovery, the pain, the medicated days, the weakness. I spent long weeks sleeping and sitting on the couch reading.

When my strength came back, I was overjoyed. It feels so good, so delicious to jump, to stretch, to feel my vitality again. I have never been a fan of bras, but for now I have to do my aerobics in a sports bra to keep things from hurting, but I'm jumping and dancing again. I'm fairly small on top so with clothes on, even just a sports bra, you'd never know I'd had the surgery. Even naked, it's not too bad anymore, not as drastic as it seemed (like a deflated tire) right after surgery and more like a bite out of my missing lower breast. I try to love it even more these days. It saved my life by presenting the lump early. And after radiation, if it still needs a nip and tuck using some part of my body fat or muscle, these hero docs know how to put you back together.

I love my hero docs. My breast surgeon is the handsomest guy with a big smile and kind eyes and he oozes confidence. It's very helpful to have doctor heroes, especially very handsome ones too. I call mine my Dudley Do Right. He has that kind of Dudley Do Right great hair. And all I ever wanted him to say to me was: "I'll save you, Nell!"

I got a go free from the chemo experience. They have these impressive, expensive tests called Oncotype DX where they send a part of your lump to California and they analyze 21 genes in it that can help predict whether or not you should have it. These tests save lots of women (like me)  from having to undergo such a huge and invasive treatment. Yeah!

But with a lumpectomy, radiation is part of the treatment. I was trying to look at it like intense sunlight therapy.

I'm still trying to be as positive as I can. But this is hard and absolutely shocking to my system. It drains you and can be painful and make you feel so sick and is a very intense thing to go through.

I had no idea it was going to be this hard.

Today is my 12th treatment.

One day at a time.

-bbffair


< http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Breast_Cancer_Awareness_Month.png >

The Beauty of Plateaus

The Beauty of Plateaus

In the beginning of an adventure in getting your body beautiful or back to beautiful, weight wise, there can be all these amazing BIG results. They are impressive and ever so sweet.

But then comes the times when you hit plateaus. The going is slower, more precise, more streamlined.

Once you are "in your zone" this is more apt to happen. But this is a VERY GOOD THING.

Many of us are conditioned to believe this is where we are stuck or not making progress. (And, where that might be the case, it might be something much, much better than that. Though if we are stuck on our progress, we might need to make an adjustment, add or subtract something, have a few earlier, lighter dinners, something.)

But today I am not thinking about the kind of plateaus associated with being stuck. Instead, I am thinking about the ones where your body is deeply adjusting and  becoming one with its newer lighter being. It is memorizing and learning to live there. And that is a sign that this is a very nice place for the body to be in. Let it find its feet, stop upon the journey, and look out at (and from) the beautiful landscape and take some time to truly drink it in.

The definition of a plateau is: an elevated, fairly stable and level ground, something one might have climbed high or long, or with great effort to arrive at.

In the zone, your body may want to stay at or close to its new weight for awhile. My body likes to go up and down about 4 pounds for about four weeks each month as it adjusts and relaxes into the lighter weight. Then it lets go of the upper level and moves gently and naturally lighter the next month another 2-4 pounds.  Now I know that is not as drastic and freaky-thrilling as losing a ton in the beginning. (And, by the way, if you boot camp your way ALL the way up, you are much more likely to crash and end up at the bottom again and all defeated. So don't do that!)
But this is the part of the path that's perfect for gentle, natural, beautiful, healthful deepening momentum. The marathon part is over and the dance is poetic and sweet and totally to be enjoyed. It will release what may be left to release in its own perfect time. Your job is to fall into harmony with your body and believe again in the beautiful creature that you are.

By the way, isn't the picture above breathtaking! It's Castle Rock in Sedona, Arizona, a place of beautiful energy and healing. I've been there and been awed.

The photograph is kindly offered for sharing by the photographer named Grombo and is shared here by courtesy of Wikimedia Commons.  Info to look at his portfolio is below.

-bbffair

<By Grombo (Own work) http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Red_rocks_Sedona_Arizona.JPG /
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Grombo  /
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Main_Page >

Being In The Zone!

Being In The Zone 
and
Knowing What Your Zone Is

This  wonderful thing happened to me around late July. I felt good about my body shape. I wasn't model perfect. But I was in my zone and I could feel it and see it. I could go out shopping and try on new clothes. I was stepping out more and more and then I got on a scale. (Well, I had to. I was beginning cancer treatment and they make you weigh in a lot.) So I got not just a sense of how it feels, but a sense of what it translates to actually.

Now, for me –I'm 5' 6-1/2"– I have a pretty large zone, about twenty-five pounds in which (so long as I am exercising and keeping up my muscle tone) I look and feel pretty good about myself.

At the top of my zone, I look good in and out of clothes. Above the top of it, I feel unable to get on a scale (i.e. fat).

At the lower end of the scale, I'm model thin or what I weighed when I was fourteen, only I'm more shapely in good ways. Below that, I feel and look anorexic and sickly.

However, for the most part, anywhere in my zone is a good place to be because none of it is *bad.* And even gradually moving towards hanging out in the middle of my zone is even more rewarding. It's healthy, alive, vibrant, and attractive.

Arriving in one's *zone* is a really cool thing if you've ever been out there in outer-zone space. It means you can relax. It's also motivating. You're not "on a diet" so much as you're in a LIFEstyle!

It is also helpful at the entrance of your zone for you to also get on the scale a LOT so you know what's going on within your zone. It's kind of like a doable reality check and check-in to keep you on track. For example, I go up and down by 2-4 pounds depending on what I've eaten. And *in the zone* a girl is more apt to lose any remaining weight slower and that's okay now, 'cause you're in the zone.

So right now, I'm in the middle of my zone, which is exactly where I want to be right now as I am also just starting radiation therapy and I might lose the rest of my lower zone with that, so I need my buffer. But I am also in a very good place too: my muscles like to move and I'm eating healthy, delicious foods.

Folks, I am doing the zone dance.

Here's to all of you getting to and being in your own zones!

-bbffair

 <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2365">Image: Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>

My First Adventure With The Mysterious Eggplant

Stuffed Eggplant

I believe in letting certain foods call out to me and, while shopping last week, these beautiful baby eggplants drew me close. They were perfect with unblemished, shiny skins and radiated health.

I have often loved eggplant in restaurants, but never knew how to cut or cook it. It seemed a very mysterious plant to me. But these called my name. It was time for me to delve into that mystery and go on an eggplant adventure.

I bought five of these small creatures and spent a few days admiring them in my kitchen. They seemed succulent and full of the promise of delight.

So, it was off to the internet, where I perused numerous sites, recipes, and youtube videos. I gleamed enough information to dare to try a recipe of my own and see where it might take me.

I decided to make stuffed eggplant.

I began by cutting the tops and ends off of two. Then I cut them both in half the long way. There were, to my surprise, no seeds to speak of. So I scooped out a cavity in each half but kept the pieces too.

Next –and this is important to preparing eggplant and something I didn't know but that the internet advised me on– I salted both sides of each piece and each half of the little creatures and left them on a paper towel covered plate for 40 minutes. This is to remove any of the potential bitterness. I have since learned that more seeded and thicker skinned eggplants are more bitter, that some eggplants with thicker skins need to be peeled. that some thinner skinned eggplants have delicious skins, and that there are over a dozen varieties. From what I now understand, they all will benefit from this salting which causes them to weep fluids and remove any bitterness.  At this point, I confess I was just getting introduced to an eggplant that hadn't yet told me it's kind. (When I looked up varieties on the internet, I thought the kind I had were too large to be baby eggplant. Later, I discovered that they can vary and that these were indeed baby eggplant, just a little larger than the internet examples, and grown hydroponically in Canada by Pure Flavor (www.pure-flavor.com). The picture -above- is from their website too.)

After 40 minutes, I rinsed my halves and pieces well in cold water. I am not a salt eater generally, so I wondered about this, but they washed very clean. I patted them dry and placed them in the refrigerator.

Next, I threw out my old olive oil. I smelled it and it seemed off. I think it is always important to smell the foods and ingredients you use. So I used my sunflower oil and about two teaspoons of Earth Balance soy free blend (from the health food cold section in my store). I heated this up hot in a skillet and chopped two big white button mushrooms into bits and threw them in and cooked them until they were very small and very browned. I added black pepper, lemon pepper, parsley flakes, and paprika as I cooked these.

I added one chopped fresh tomato and several tablespoons of DelMonte original stewed tomatoes (both pieces -that I chopped in the pan with my spatula- and juice).  I threw in bits of fresh rosemary, sage, and thyme and shook three shakes of cinnamon into the mix. Then I cooked and stirred this concoction for a while. When it all reduced, I threw in a couple of good splashes of vegetable stock (chicken would have worked too) and stirred all the reduced flavors back up from the bottom of the pan and cooked this until it was thick.

At this point, I removed it from the heat and stirred in a big handful of fresh baby spinach leaves, wilting them. I then added a handful of pine nuts and a handful of grated Romano cheese.

I pulled my baby eggplant halves and pieces out of the fridge, coated a round glass pan with olive oil Pam, took a spoon and amply stuffed the halves (but not packing it down) with the mixture and put the remainder over the pieces in between the halves.

I took an open jar of Paul Newman's Sockarooni spaghetti sauce from the fridge and topped each half and piece with a big spoonful.

Then I put the pan, -without a top- into a preheated 400 degree oven for 50 minutes.

I served these with grated Asiago cheese sprinkled over the tops with a few fresh cilantro leaves.

OMG!!!!!  It was delicious!!!!!!!  It was Dinner!!!!

Yeah Adventures in Foodland that make you feel Awesome!

-bbffair

Ingredients List:

2  (five to six inches long or the equivalent) baby eggplants
salt
Olive Oil and Soy Free Earth Balance
2 big fresh white button mushrooms
black pepper
lemon pepper
parsley flakes
paprika
1 medium fresh tomato
Del Monte original stewed tomatoes
fresh rosemary
fresh sage
fresh thyme
cinnamon
chicken or vegetable stock
fresh baby spinach
pine nuts
grated Romano cheese
Paul Newman's Sockarooni spaghetti sauce
grated Asiago cheese
fresh cilantro

Eat Your Broccoli!

EAT YOUR BROCCOLI!

Fresh vegetables are *GOOD* for you!

Lucky for me that I love my veggies.

It also seems that broccoli is making news as a cancer fighter.


Yeah!!! Go broccoli!

So, for me, having had breast cancer, I am now even more passionate about eating things to help my body get and stay healthy! So, along with my steamed veggies and healthy protein, I am definitely adding in eating raw as well.

This afternoon, I made a huge tray of raw fresh broccoli, white button mushrooms, parsley, tomatoes, and carrots. I even used ample dip. I ate all I wanted (about half the whole platter) and couldn't finish what was in front of me. Afterwards, for my protein, I finished with about 1/2 ounce of walnut halves mixed with about 1/8 cup of dried Michigan cherries.

My total calorie count was 330.

My nutrition count was 100%, tasty, filling, balanced, cancer-fighting, whole food.

Bon Appétit!

-bbffair

{Broccoli, photograph courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net">Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>}

Sleep

 Getting Your Beauty Sleep

I've been on a post-surgery sleep schedule. Which means my body wants to sleep and heal. It really works too. The more I sleep, the more I heal.

Sleep is a luxury for many. But it is a dieter's best friend and it also is pretty darn good for your skin too.

I am noticing that the more I can sleep, the more my body relaxes and lets go of what it doesn't need, (i.e., extra weight)! Seriously, this is very effective for losing those pounds and building health. So give yourself a sleep regimen and see for yourself if it doesn't make a difference.

Isn't this kitty cute? I have only to look at pictures like this and I get all sleepy in the best and most relaxing ways. I think I might need a picture* of a cat sleeping next to my bed at night for when I need help drifting off into those zzzzzzs.

-bbffair

*(My two sheepdogs might object to a live kitty and I am allergic to cats, but otherwise a real kitty can be helpful in the z-department too!)


<"Sleepy Cat" by ShivaPrasad Madaiah, courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net>

Orange Juice With Squeezed Lemon! - Yumm!

Boost Your Health With Fresh Lemons!

As many of you know, I love to start my day with an 8 ounce glass of fresh orange juice!

Another great way to break your fast is by drinking fresh lemon juice squeezed in water, a drink that is thought to be very good for digestion and weight loss as well as other health benefits.

Lately, I've been squeezing about 1/3 of a fresh lemon (or between 1-2 Tbsps. of fresh lemon juice) along with the pulp into my orange juice.

It is superbly delicious! And healthy! And a simple way to up the healthy benefits of citrus! Try it and let me know what you think!


-bbffair

<p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=1499">Image: Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>

Respecting Your Health Through Challenges

 

 Changes I have made for Health

 As I have previously posted, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and the last three months have been a challenging time for me. I've had surgery that removed my tumor, and two lymph nodes, both clean, Thank God.

I am still recovering from the surgery, a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy, that has left me without much distortion, but with much nerve upset in my nipple, which is hopefully temporary, but upsetting, and much fatigue. As well, I am preparing for a round of radiation to the area, which, I'm told, will increase my fatigue for awhile both during the treatments and in the months following.

I still feel very grateful as I move forward. But this is no cake walk. 

I have also been thinking hard about how much of the traditional medicine in front of me seems to keep pointing, not just at the irradiating of the cancer, but also at poisoning the body enough so that the cancer never ever returns. The cure is hard. The preventative measures very difficult to grasp.

I still don't know if I can take a drug that is basically a chemotherapy pill for five years. That's a decision I don't have to make just yet, but one I am wrestling with.

In the meantime, what I am focusing on, right now, is what changes I can implement in my nutrition and exercise that are not extreme or desperate, but sensible, sustainable, and doable.

I have started buying only hormone-free and antibiotic-free milk –it tastes great!–  and chicken and beef. I am mostly eating a plant based diet with my protein coming mainly from fish first, chicken second, and only very occasionally beef. I am staying far away from fats. No, not entirely, but reasonably. I still like the Earth Balance spread. And, I realize that alcohol, even though I really just like very nice wines, is a very possible culprit in creating bad estrogen. It's out for now except maybe for a rare indulgence.

I am busy exploring how I can beef up my immune and energetic systems, rebuilding my health stronger and better. I plan to meet with a professional nutritionist. I'll be blogging about that more in the future.

And I am humbled by how tired surgery and healing have left me and learning to take littler, but very effective smaller steps. Right now, 3 mile walks exhaust me, 30 minutes of jumping is too much for my sore breast, and I've had to back down. I thought I could get right back and up to speed, but I have definitely been slowed down. However, the good and inspiring news is this:

LITTLE STEPS CAN GO A LONG WAY!

I can walk a half mile to a mile 2-3 times a week and build on that as I get my energy back.

I can do the standing (10 minutes) portion of the Original Callantics one day and the floor portion (10 minutes) the next day.

I can put on a breast binder or sports bra and gently dance-jog in my living room on a spring floor for 12-20 minutes (Remember my 12 minutes post!!  See it here! ) three times a week to start and keep checking in with myself to make sure that it's not too much and only keep it up or add to it respecting my body deeply, that it is telling me how far is far enough and when it is ready for more.

I can eat delicious and healthy food (like I have been and like I talk about on this blog) with the above changes (i.e. less meat, no hormones or antibiotics in food, etc.) but not quite as much as when I was exercising more vigorously. I'm eating closer to 1300 calories a day. It's actually not a hard adjustment as I need less. For example, instead of two eggs, I eat one egg. I plan to also have future blog posts about some of these even lighter meals as they still contain the good nutrition and vitamins and flavor (!!)  that I like and need and that provides healthy, balanced, and balancing (very important!) meals, but they are trimmed down a bit more.

And for really good news, even while going through all this doctor-business,  and even while I am still in the process of needing to regain my strength and stamina, I continue to be on a path of health with healthy results!

-bbffair  

 

 <Green Bulb -above- by Digitalart, courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net>

 

Lighting Up Again: New Beginnings in Exercise After Surgery

Well, once upon a time, I worked with Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis (and my own healthy eating plan) for 30 days and lost about a bazillion inches and maybe twenty pounds. What a boot camp! Then I hurt myself.

So I regrouped, went back to simple, more respectful, light jogging 30 minutes a day mixed with relaxing 3 mile walks 3-5 times a week and two 20 minute Callanetics workouts a week. I continued  with my great healthy food: Yumm and good for you and great for a fit you. I continued to get into great healthy shape.

But then I got diagnosed with cancer. Oh no. Please. No.

I went on the scared-out-of-my-wits diet, i.e., I couldn't eat and I walked like crazy. I lost another ten to fifteen pounds from stress alone. I do not recommend this as a form of losing weight.

Blue Sky Bulb by Pixomar courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net

 

But knowing I was heading back into/towards needing a strong base of health under me, ahead of my surgery, I resumed my once a week Callanetics workout and will add in the second one as I feel stronger. And on the morning of surgery, I jogged 30 minutes just to de-stress as much as I could ahead of my surgery. Yeah. I really did.

It is now four days since my surgery. I've been too tired to walk even. I tried it the day after surgery and my husband practically had to carry me home. But that was just 24 hours after major surgery. I decided sleep was what my body wanted and needed and I've been giving myself plenty of that. But today is my *Tuesday* for Callanetics (I normally like to work this Tuesdays and Saturdays, but have promised myself Tuesdays for now) and four days after surgery so I decided I could do this because it IS gentle enough for even post-surgery.

Afterwards, I felt good enough that I pulled out my new DVD of the new Callanetics cardio to try it out. I did it gently. It was very calming, very respectful, more of a Ballet workout with soothing piano music. It was *perfect* for me as I begin, again, to re-establish my healthy patterns for post-surgery and for pre-radiation treatment. Exercise and eating well will support me in this too.

I'll let you know how it feels over time, but for now, it is a movement forward for my health and my joie de vivre.

-bbffair

Easter Heart - Renewed Life - Joy

 My Dear and Wonderful Friends and Fellows on the Path of Light,

I had my surgery this morning. I am home. Everything went just great. My relief is immeasurable.

The lump was removed and they went back again for an edge of an area that had not quite enough of a clear margin and got it.

Isn't it so cool that they can tell right then and there how to get the cancer and the clear margin.

The nuclear medicine and photos showed very clearly where my closest nodes were and in the right place. They only took 2 lymph nodes. We still have to wait five days for pathology on those, but my hero doctor told my husband that they look normal and very good.

My pre-surgery panic, anxiety, depression, and fear is all but completely gone as I feel such relief.

I am so grateful that I have the University of Michigan Cancer Center around and supporting me.

If all I have to do is radiation therapy and drug therapy, I can handle that. Maybe even with joy. The joy of my life!

I feel my life unfolding before me like a new road, a healthy, loving, good, and long one.

Your connections to me and mine to you are extraordinary and beautiful and filled with light and profound gratitude. 

I love and appreciate you all.

With love and health,

Bobbi

-bbffair

*Update: The pathology report came in yesterday afternoon. My nodes are clean. I am cancer free! Yeah! Yeah! Like I said, I will be the best radiation patient they ever had.