Today I finished my radiation treatments. I never thought I would make it. Every single day it was like that for me.
I cannot thank enough the amazing staff at the Radiation Department of University of Michigan Hospital that worked every day to get me through, who were so very very kind and gentle with me. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Here is to healing light that it may touch all of us when and where we need it the most.
I found these awesome photographs of statues of Shiva dancing that I thought I would post today. This is definitely in the zone. This is how the body feels when it is free and light and dancing, when you let go and become one with your movement and your life force.
These beautiful statues led me on a journey to re-look up Shiva and Shakti, who is his counter-part. I love it when mythology shows up and calls out. There is always some morsel of something potent that is there.
This is some of what I found:
On Wikipedia:
"Shiva (ta: சிவன் ) ; (/ˈʃɪvə/; Sanskrit: शिव Śiva, meaning "auspicious one") is a major Hindudeity, and is the destroyer god or transformer among the Trimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine. God Shiva is a yogi who has notice of everything that happens in the world and is the main aspect of life. Yet one with great power lives a life of a sage at Mount Kailash.[2] In the Shaiva tradition of Hinduism, Shiva is seen as the Supreme God. In the Smarta tradition, he is regarded as one of the five primary forms of God.[3] Followers of Hinduism who focus their worship upon Shiva are called Shaivites or Shaivas (Sanskrit Śaiva).[4]Shaivism, along with Vaiṣṇava traditions that focus on Vishnu and Śākta traditions that focus on the goddessShakti, is one of the most influential denominations in Hinduism.[3]
Lord Shiva is usually worshipped in the abstract form of Shiva linga. In images, He is represented as a handsome[5] young man[6] immersed in deep meditation or dancing the Tandava upon Apasmara, the demon of ignorance in his manifestation of Nataraja, the Lord of the dance, goodness, humility, and every good quality a human should have. It is said that He looks like an eternal youth because of his authority over death, rebirth and immortality. He is also the father of Ganesha and Murugan ; (taமுருகன் ) ;(Kartikeya)."
and
"Shakti (Devanagari: शक्ति) from Sanskritshak - "to be able," meaning sacred force or empowerment, is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe in Hinduism.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and creativity/fertility, though it is also present in males in its potential, unmanifest form.[2]
The Kundalini-shakti from the Yoga tradition: life force/sexual energy that can be awakened for conscious creativity.
Not only is the Shakti responsible for creation, it is also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the Kundalini Shakti,[3] a mysterious psychospiritual force.[4] Shakti exists in a state of svātantrya, dependence on no-one, being interdependent with the entire universe.
In Shaktism, Shakti is worshiped as the Supreme Being. However, in other Hindu traditions of Shaivism and Vaishnavism, Shakti embodies the active feminine energy Prakriti of Purusha, who is Vishnu in Vaishnavism or Shiva in Shaivism. Vishnu's female counterpart is called Lakshmi, with Parvati being the female half of Shiva."
More simply, the male Shiva, embodies transformation, and the female Shakti creativity.
The Secret of Shiva and Shakti Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati(endless audio loop*)
Shiva and Shakti are one and the same.
There is no place that He is not.
There is no place that She is not.
They are one and the same.
She is in every thing.
She is in every word.
She is all there is.
See Her in all things.
Hear Her in all sounds.
Know Her in all thoughts.
Feel Her in all feelings.
She is all there is.
She is the one in the three worlds**.
Shiva and Shakti are one and the same.
That is the secret.
(Shiva is the universal latent or masculine energy,
and Shakti is the universal active or feminine energy.)
But, for me, it feels very much like the statues tell it all. There is beauty that dances, life in movement and movement in life.
On the dancing path, one may only sense that freedom at first, but as the body lightens up, when one begins to embody that lightness, the dance become exquisite.
In the beginning of an adventure in getting your body beautiful or back to beautiful, weight wise, there can be all these amazing BIG results. They are impressive and ever so sweet.
But then comes the times when you hit plateaus. The going is slower, more precise, more streamlined.
Once you are "in your zone" this is more apt to happen. But this is a VERY GOOD THING.
Many of us are conditioned to believe this is where we are stuck or not making progress. (And, where that might be the case, it might be something much, much better than that. Though if we are stuck on our progress, we might need to make an adjustment, add or subtract something, have a few earlier, lighter dinners, something.)
But today I am not thinking about the kind of plateaus associated with being stuck. Instead, I am thinking about the ones where your body is deeply adjusting and becoming one with its newer lighter being. It is memorizing and learning to live there. And that is a sign that this is a very nice place for the body to be in. Let it find its feet, stop upon the journey, and look out at (and from) the beautiful landscape and take some time to truly drink it in.
The definition of a plateau is: an elevated, fairly stable and level ground, something one might have climbed high or long, or with great effort to arrive at.
In the zone, your body may want to stay at or close to its new weight for awhile. My body likes to go up and down about 4 pounds for about four weeks each month as it adjusts and relaxes into the lighter weight. Then it lets go of the upper level and moves gently and naturally lighter the next month another 2-4 pounds. Now I know that is not as drastic and freaky-thrilling as losing a ton in the beginning. (And, by the way, if you boot camp your way ALL the way up, you are much more likely to crash and end up at the bottom again and all defeated. So don't do that!)
But this is the part of the path that's perfect for gentle, natural, beautiful, healthful deepening momentum. The marathon part is over and the dance is poetic and sweet and totally to be enjoyed. It will release what may be left to release in its own perfect time. Your job is to fall into harmony with your body and believe again in the beautiful creature that you are.
By the way, isn't the picture above breathtaking! It's Castle Rock in Sedona, Arizona, a place of beautiful energy and healing. I've been there and been awed.
The photograph is kindly offered for sharing by the photographer named Grombo and is shared here by courtesy of Wikimedia Commons. Info to look at his portfolio is below.
Well, once upon a time, I worked with Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis (and my own healthy eating plan) for 30 days and lost about a bazillion inches and maybe twenty pounds. What a boot camp! Then I hurt myself.
So I regrouped, went back to simple, more respectful, light jogging 30 minutes a day mixed with relaxing 3 mile walks 3-5 times a week and two 20 minute Callanetics workouts a week. I continued with my great healthy food: Yumm and good for you and great for a fit you. I continued to get into great healthy shape.
But then I got diagnosed with cancer. Oh no. Please. No.
I went on the scared-out-of-my-wits diet, i.e., I couldn't eat and I walked like crazy. I lost another ten to fifteen pounds from stress alone. I do not recommend this as a form of losing weight.
Blue Sky Bulb by Pixomar courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
But knowing I was heading back into/towards needing a strong base of health under me, ahead of my surgery, I resumed my once a week Callanetics workout and will add in the second one as I feel stronger. And on the morning of surgery, I jogged 30 minutes just to de-stress as much as I could ahead of my surgery. Yeah. I really did.
It is now four days since my surgery. I've been too tired to walk even. I tried it the day after surgery and my husband practically had to carry me home. But that was just 24 hours after major surgery. I decided sleep was what my body wanted and needed and I've been giving myself plenty of that. But today is my *Tuesday* for Callanetics (I normally like to work this Tuesdays and Saturdays, but have promised myself Tuesdays for now) and four days after surgery so I decided I could do this because it IS gentle enough for even post-surgery.
Afterwards, I felt good enough that I pulled out my new DVD of the new Callanetics cardio to try it out. I did it gently. It was very calming, very respectful, more of a Ballet workout with soothing piano music. It was *perfect* for me as I begin, again, to re-establish my healthy patterns for post-surgery and for pre-radiation treatment. Exercise and eating well will support me in this too.
I'll let you know how it feels over time, but for now, it is a movement forward for my health and my joie de vivre.
I am, we all are, I believe, this beautiful mix of light-filled souls and vulnerable humans.
A few weeks ago, I was contemplating how a human can get out of alignment with their light. I was thinking then, about why we get separated from our vitality and health and right weight, but I was also thinking about the deeper implications.
And now, since I seem destined for the skinny cancer diet, suddenly I am seeing it more poignantly. It is not just about getting that sweet, sexy shape going on and feeling beautiful on the outside. It is that. I mean we want that too. But it is also about shining your light everywhere and stretching out in it, beautiful and alive in every cell and in one's way of connecting and interacting with their light and their life force. And, suddenly losing too much weight is what frightens me.
So I am doing some extra deep soul-searching. I have been given so many gifts in this life: people who I love deeply who love me just as I am, art, writing, joie de vivre, a dancing fool path, humor, a sense of fun and adventure, a clean safe world, a perfectly wonderful body, a deep sense of caring about humanity, a place in the world to live where people try hard to be kind to one another, and so much more.
And I have had some issues, some sorrows, some areas of cocooning too. And if they are appearing in my breast, I wish to shine more light now. I have no where left to hide. This is so much more important than just getting fit and healthy. This is turning me inside-out and revealing me where I thought it was safe to take some "stuff" and hide it. I guess not.
I suppose if you have angels, that they see everything and they love the everything in you. The extra sweet you had ain't so bad if you loved yourself thoroughly enjoying it. But perhaps the things you hurt yourself with might also be plain holding onto sadness instead of letting it wash through you.
I'm ready to let my stuff wash through me and let my angels have at me.
Callanetics, along with my own version of daily cardio-dance, have been my tried and true exercise program for the most part for more than twenty years. You only have to do the Callanetics two times a week. It is gentle and deeply nourishing and you get results.
Twenty years ago, I bought the original video for the Callanetics program. It is a very deeply thoughtful and well researched program with dance moves and yoga moves in mind, with enormous respect for the neck and the knees and posture, etc. It is about working little muscles, but not straining or injuring anything.
When I originally used Callanetics, after working with it awhile, I abbreviated it, mostly changing the exercises from 100 reps to 50 reps. This allowed me to do the program in 20 minutes. Furthermore, I memorized it. I only had to do it twice a week for results. In fact, it asked you to take days in between so that your muscles and any soreness (and you will be amazed at how sore these "gentle" exercises can make you if you are new to them) repaired and recovered first.
A month ago, I had a hurt neck (not good) from Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis and, admittedly, also some boredom. I had a serious "bump-in-the-road" and I needed a new plan-of-action.
(Another member over on Tracy's forum also wrote about going back to Callanetics when the going got tough with the Tracy route, which made me thoughtful. The Tracy method is and has been very effective for me–for the first three levels anyway–but hey, we all need to pay attention to what needs to be tailored to our specific needs and capacities, and whereas I am not giving up entirely on the Tracy meta program, I may need to add it back in more like seasoning or alternating workouts on a more workable plan for me as I go).
I began by taking a longish break from her routine after 30 days. Though I had had a LOT of results from the first 30 days, on the 4th level, when I injured myself, I needed some time off, which I took without too much of a loss from my results. I still feel they are very inspiring (!) , but I needed a more sustainable plan. I am just not an "ongoing bootcamp" kind of girl.
Then this last week, I actually sprained my neck (will explain that in a future post).
So where did I turn? I always return to Callanetics.
This week, I began a new program for myself: It begins with gentle 20 minutes of Callanetics (all the exercises, but at 50 reps max except for the last inner thigh exercise which I do for the full 100 counts).
I began with a Tuesday and Saturday routine (giving me at least two days in between each workout for repair and restoration) for these. Eventually, when I am ready and my body and schedule can accommodate it, maybe in a few weeks, I will add in Thursday too, just for extra toning.
I do these gently. Even with a sprained/strained neck, I can do these. And, believe it or not, even after the Tracy exercises, the first Callanetics in a longish time left me feeling the burn and the work of these gentle exercises the next two days!
But they are sooo gentle, that I have been able to do them without any fear of further injury to my poor sprained/strained neck, doing them especially respectfully to that of course.
I have added into the middle of them a select few of the Tracy exercises for extra leg and butt work.
The beauty of the basic Callanetics (beside the results!!) is that they are so soothing to do. One feels quite relaxed afterwards and (since I have them memorized) I can do them while watching a television program or the news. I don't have any dependence on a DVD or video to move through them.
I am so impressed with these tried and true exercises that I goggled Callantetics to see what they have developed since. LOTS! I plan to order the cardio (See the youtube clip above for an example of that! Looks yummy to me!) and a couple of the specialty ones. Why not? The original worked for me off and on for many years and I always have come back to it to add into my own cardio.
~~
So My Own New Ideal Exercise Program, right now, has morphed to the following:
Monday:
30 minutes light cardio (I've never felt it made a difference to sweat or work that hard for "results" but the "continuous" part is essential!)
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk*(about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
(*Note: I aim for 3 to 5 of these leisurely 3 mile walks a week on average when I am feeling like moving more or upping my on-my-feet momentum.)
~~
Tuesday:
30 minutes light cardio
20 minutes Callanetics (with a choice few of Tracy's leg and butt moves added into the floor work)
and (Additional Option Add On): 3 mile walk*(about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Wednesday:
30 minutes light cardio
and
Housework or Garden Work (It's exercise too, right?? Right!!)
~~
Thursday:
30 minutes light cardio
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk* (about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Friday:
30 minutes light cardio
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk* (about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Saturday:
30 minutes light cardio
20 minutes Callanetics (with a choice few of Tracy's leg and butt moves added into the floor work)
~~
Sunday:
Off
~~
(*Note: And, while injured, I am permitting myself to let go of the 30 minutes cardio for now, so I can heal, and emphasizing the walking, when I can, instead. And I am being more careful with the calories as I will explain in a post over the next week.)
~~
There is freedom in having an exercise program that you can adapt to your own needs and that frees you from necessarily needing DVDs or gyms or studios to go to.
And, I am so impressed with the glimpse of the new Callanetics cardio, that I am going to order it and try it and a couple of the other new videos out and maybe mix them up a bit! Hey! Why not?!
(P.S. And I'll let you know, down the road how they work out for me too! Promise!)
I'd love to hear about any of your own altered–specific to your own needs–adapted programs and how they serve you. But thought you might enjoy hearing about mine too!
-bbffair
(P.S. Callanetics has a killer inner thigh exercise: You sit on the floor with your legs outstretched towards a chair and put your feet (middle of the soles) on the outside legs of the chair and squeeze your legs and thighs together as hard as you can, keeping up the intensity of the squeeze for the slow count of 100 and then release and you feel amazing afterwards too.)
I just got reminded of what sometimes works when all I want to do is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
12 minutes.
I need three good songs. I can dance for three good songs and that's about 12 minutes. Or, I can handle 12 minutes jogging in place watching TV.
A coach I worked with once told me the biggest mistake women make is to aim for bigger goals than they can face. It's one of her secrets of success. If you aim for something very small, then Voila! Success! You've done it! You can do that!!
Then, if you want, everything more than that little increment is extra!
It's sort of a mind-game for me. If I can make it FUN!, no problemo (and I'll say more about ways I like to do that in another post). But sometimes, exercise is just plain not fun and hard work and then just thinking about 30-35 minutes is too much for me to want to do. But even then, I really can't argue too much with 12 minutes of effort.
So it's a mind game. And most of the time, after 12 minutes, I can do another 12 minutes and then a third. I know the 30-35 minutes is going to give me the best results, but some days are harder than others.
Keeping to the 12 minutes as a base goal for days I don't feel like it, keeps me on a daily path. After my 12 minutes, if I really am still feeling beat , then I did my minimum and I stop, for the day, but I still accomplished staying with the program.
Likewise, sometimes I have to take the mat work in increments too and stop after each section for a mini-break.
But the most important part is the staying with a daily minimum effort part.
So, when I get burned out, tired, sluggish, etc., the worst thing I can do is drop the ball entirely. I have to remember to break it down into minimum increments, find three great songs, and remember the 12 minute principle.
Right now, my three songs are going to be from The Rolling Stones, Stripped CD!!!
I have had several wonderful, life and body revitalizing experiences in my life. Most of these have been eclectic, a combination of several methods that work well with my system, and that charge me with energy, health, and light.
I have been and will always be, at heart, a dancing path girl, but there is always something new to learn and a right opportunity at a right moment (and I will expound upon my dancing path ways in future posts).
Today I am going to talk about Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis.
It is by far the most disciplined, hard-work–with no way around that–and yet still (most important!) doable if also the most demanding system I have ever personally experienced.
It is a six-day a week, 90 day body transformation program. I am currently almost 30 days in and I LOVE IT!
I have adjusted the diet, however, to fit my system. I have noted the parts I like the most and altered them to suit my needs and/or added them into my own diet, which is not so much "a diet," but how I need to eat to feel alive and fit.
I need regular protein. I love everything fresh. And I LOVE me my coffee and milk. Coffee is my own personal indulgence and I ain't giving it up.
My own food system has worked for me in the past and it is now working for me on the Tracy Anderson system too. So, if you are like me, and you need lots of regular lean protein, fresh veges and fruits AND you need wonderful flavor, variety and energizing food, please check in on my grocery lists and recipe posts. And please, comment and/or add in your own recipes and or variations.
So, you might wonder, if my food plan works so well, how did I get out of shape? Well, that's a longish story, but it includes not following my own innate nourishment wisdom. However, since starting Metamorphosis, I've mended my wicked ways and gone back to the food I know will lighten me up and light me up. Everytime I regularly eat like this, I get leaner, healthier, more energy, and more Light! My body loves me. My mind is more alert and focused. My emotions are more balanced and happier. And my spirit sings.
But what I LOVE about the Tracy Anderson Metamorphosis workout method is that [surprise! surprise!] after all the HARD exercise (I am used to the jogging–oh yeah, and I had to add that back in too–but not the exercise like she dishes it out, goodness!!), my body feels amazing.
And the Results!!! I have had awesome results every 10 days. There is nothing like results! Tracy knows how to reshape the body and I am loving how toned and tightened I am feeling every day now.
And–truth moment here–I can't do the weights part of the arms yet and I can only do half of the leg reps and I am STILL getting amazing results.
So if you are ready for an incredible way to lighten up, get strong, and get fit, and find yourself at a perfect moment for momentum, I suggest you run over to her site (http://tracyandersonmethod.com) and check it out. And if you came here from there, join me, as I continue to transform in this amazing program and transform with me!
/ˈʃɪvə/; Sanskrit: शिव Śiva, meaning "auspicious one") is a major Hindu deity, and is the destroyer god or transformer among the Trimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine. God Shiva is a yogi who has notice of everything that happens in the world and is the main aspect of life. Yet one with great power lives a life of a sage at Mount Kailash.[2] In the Shaiva tradition of Hinduism, Shiva is seen as the Supreme God. In the Smarta tradition, he is regarded as one of the five primary forms of God.[3] Followers of Hinduism who focus their worship upon Shiva are called Shaivites or Shaivas (Sanskrit Śaiva).[4] Shaivism, along with Vaiṣṇava traditions that focus on Vishnu and Śākta traditions that focus on the goddess Shakti, is one of the most influential denominations in Hinduism.[3]
um Roll Please
I have had several wonderful, life and body revitalizing experiences in my life. Most of these have been eclectic, a combination of several methods that work well with my system, and that charge me with energy, health, and light.
