Callan Pinckney, born as Barbara Biffinger Pfeiffer Pinckney on 26 September 1939, died 1 March 2012, and was an American fitness professional.
She was a hero to me. I love her Callanetics and have practiced them and returned to them and recommended them again and again.
I just found out about her death and am so sad. She was an awesome lady, an adventurer, and she gave us the most beautiful way to respectfully exercise, blending dance and yoga, ever attending to a kindness to the body, old or young, and the health of the neck and spine, while showing us her way towards toned muscles and beautiful sculpted bodies that even plastic surgery cannot measure up to.
I found out about her death today as I was looking for a link to post for her "Original Callanetics." To the best of my knowledge, it is still on videotape and now also DVD, and is still often out of stock or hard to find. However, I have looked at her DVDs for the "Quick Callanetics" (all three are available on Amazon.com) which consist of three videos where she takes the same basic Original Callanetics and gives you a quicker workout, one for the legs, one for the hips and behind, and one for the stomach. These are excellent and, in 20 minutes, walk you through her movements with the added bonus that Callan herself is teaching you in these videos. She is so special that it is well worth it to learn from her very distinct, caring, and personal instruction and her awesome manner.
One of the Callanetics teachers, not Callan, also has a dance low-aerobics video, but I think the "inside walking" is better for a lower impact workout, because you tune into your own body with your own rhythm and movements.
The three "Quick Callanetics" DVDs can be done in half the time once you are familiar with them and can do them on your own. I combine all of them but like to do just the standing ones on one day (5 minutes) and just the floor ones (10-15 minutes) the next day and then repeat this sequence again in the week. But if you use the DVDs, you could benefit greatly from just doing these, each video one time a week, on alternate days, with a day in between each to rest and restore your muscles. You WILL feel and see the results!!
Here is to one awesome lady!
Callan Pinckney
Rest in Peace
File:White rose, Sissinghurst Castle garden, Kent courtesy of Wikimediacommons
Did I say I was READY for Spring? I am READY for SPRING!
So for Week One -The Prep Week!- of My Spring Sprint:
Step One:
First of all I spring-cleaned my house top to toe! Yeah! It took me a week with two separately planned intense work days with my husband helping, but we DID IT!! (Since the radiation, I have to pace myself, my energy can get all used up and then I have to make up for it.)
But we DID IT!! We even got the famous sheepdogs all cleaned up and now even they are preening around like movie stars. Every body enjoys a tune up!
This was the Prep Week! I kept to my regular exercise with my big goal of getting the house clean and clear. The next six weeks, I'm going to be in full gear!
Next Week, I will post Week One or What A Spring Sprint Week Looks Like To Me.
Until then, the sun is out, the sky is blue, it's beautiful, and so are you, won't you come out to play!
Have a wonderful week end!
Kindest regards,
-bbffair
Dear Prudence
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence open up your eyes
Dear Prudence see the sunny skies
The wind is low the birds will sing
That you are part of everything
Dear Prudence won't you open up your eyes?
Look around round round
Look around round round
Oh look around
Dear Prudence let me see you smile
Dear Prudence like a little child
The clouds will be a daisy chain
So let me see you smile again
Dear Prudence won't you let me see you smile?
Dear Prudence, won't you come out to play
Dear Prudence, greet the brand new day
The sun is up, the sky is blue
It's beautiful and so are you
Dear Prudence won't you come out to play
February, this year, seemed like a long, hard winter month to walk.I often think of January like that, but not so much February.
Some of this was me and some of this just seemed to be going around. I finished radiation at the end of 2011 in December and I was whipped by it. But January wasn't as darn mean and cold as it usually is, so there was this sense of getting through the winter lightly. That is, until February snagged a bunch of us.
For the past ten months, in spite of cancer, I've been getting consistently lighter and healthier. I've been in my zone and fine tuning things and keeping the lightening going even through cancer.
But in February??? I tipped up the scales six pounds! I'm still in my zone, but still! How could that happen??? Time to regroup and rethink and get real.
(And yes I know, in my zone, that's not a big deal -to anyone else but me- but to me, it's a wake-up call before I get into anything more like really bigger trouble!)
I also have a theory. I think that the seasons are important to us, biologically, spiritually, physically, mentally. They affect us and are supposed to. So, for one thing it is natural when it gets cold and snowy and ye old winter winds are beating down your door, that you are supposed to get cozy by the fire with a little bit more you on your bones and take a few more zzzzz's in (even if you didn't have radiation treatments) and sup on root vegetables and hearty stew. But when winter doesn't walk you through it, you will still feel the season, and, even eventually, it may still catch up to you later and demand its due.
Anyway, this year, every single still-exercising, still eating mostly right and healthy, still working-it woman I know told me she tipped it up a few pounds in February and/or the scale just got stuck all month.
Tsk. Tsk.
But I wonder, thinking back on my contemplations of the plateau, if there really is some innate logic to this? Perhaps it is the last step necessary to moving into the light of spring? Sort of like stepping back to boost your new, next upcoming leap forward.
Anyway, I'm counting on this AND I am recommitting to my spring this year starting right here and now. I cleaned my house top to bottom, part one, last week, and will finish part two, the dogs, this week. I have cleaned out winter, cobwebs, cancer, worry, and all things that get bottled up and start to grow weird in those bottles. And I am recommitting to a strong five days a week forward in moving in my exercises, not so much more, but with more joie di vivre and light! I want that light in my body too!
And so the next six weeks, I'm channeling my light into my Light Body with new life. I'm going to re-lose that six pounds and aim for four more!
Anybody want to get into the sweet spring dance with me too? Time to Lighten Up!
-bbffair
Here Comes The Sun
Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo)
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been clear
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
Here comes the sun
Here comes the sun, and I say
It's all right
It's all right
In the beginning of an adventure in getting your body beautiful or back to beautiful, weight wise, there can be all these amazing BIG results. They are impressive and ever so sweet.
But then comes the times when you hit plateaus. The going is slower, more precise, more streamlined.
Once you are "in your zone" this is more apt to happen. But this is a VERY GOOD THING.
Many of us are conditioned to believe this is where we are stuck or not making progress. (And, where that might be the case, it might be something much, much better than that. Though if we are stuck on our progress, we might need to make an adjustment, add or subtract something, have a few earlier, lighter dinners, something.)
But today I am not thinking about the kind of plateaus associated with being stuck. Instead, I am thinking about the ones where your body is deeply adjusting and becoming one with its newer lighter being. It is memorizing and learning to live there. And that is a sign that this is a very nice place for the body to be in. Let it find its feet, stop upon the journey, and look out at (and from) the beautiful landscape and take some time to truly drink it in.
The definition of a plateau is: an elevated, fairly stable and level ground, something one might have climbed high or long, or with great effort to arrive at.
In the zone, your body may want to stay at or close to its new weight for awhile. My body likes to go up and down about 4 pounds for about four weeks each month as it adjusts and relaxes into the lighter weight. Then it lets go of the upper level and moves gently and naturally lighter the next month another 2-4 pounds. Now I know that is not as drastic and freaky-thrilling as losing a ton in the beginning. (And, by the way, if you boot camp your way ALL the way up, you are much more likely to crash and end up at the bottom again and all defeated. So don't do that!)
But this is the part of the path that's perfect for gentle, natural, beautiful, healthful deepening momentum. The marathon part is over and the dance is poetic and sweet and totally to be enjoyed. It will release what may be left to release in its own perfect time. Your job is to fall into harmony with your body and believe again in the beautiful creature that you are.
By the way, isn't the picture above breathtaking! It's Castle Rock in Sedona, Arizona, a place of beautiful energy and healing. I've been there and been awed.
The photograph is kindly offered for sharing by the photographer named Grombo and is shared here by courtesy of Wikimedia Commons. Info to look at his portfolio is below.
Well, once upon a time, I worked with Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis (and my own healthy eating plan) for 30 days and lost about a bazillion inches and maybe twenty pounds. What a boot camp! Then I hurt myself.
So I regrouped, went back to simple, more respectful, light jogging 30 minutes a day mixed with relaxing 3 mile walks 3-5 times a week and two 20 minute Callanetics workouts a week. I continued with my great healthy food: Yumm and good for you and great for a fit you. I continued to get into great healthy shape.
But then I got diagnosed with cancer. Oh no. Please. No.
I went on the scared-out-of-my-wits diet, i.e., I couldn't eat and I walked like crazy. I lost another ten to fifteen pounds from stress alone. I do not recommend this as a form of losing weight.
Blue Sky Bulb by Pixomar courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
But knowing I was heading back into/towards needing a strong base of health under me, ahead of my surgery, I resumed my once a week Callanetics workout and will add in the second one as I feel stronger. And on the morning of surgery, I jogged 30 minutes just to de-stress as much as I could ahead of my surgery. Yeah. I really did.
It is now four days since my surgery. I've been too tired to walk even. I tried it the day after surgery and my husband practically had to carry me home. But that was just 24 hours after major surgery. I decided sleep was what my body wanted and needed and I've been giving myself plenty of that. But today is my *Tuesday* for Callanetics (I normally like to work this Tuesdays and Saturdays, but have promised myself Tuesdays for now) and four days after surgery so I decided I could do this because it IS gentle enough for even post-surgery.
Afterwards, I felt good enough that I pulled out my new DVD of the new Callanetics cardio to try it out. I did it gently. It was very calming, very respectful, more of a Ballet workout with soothing piano music. It was *perfect* for me as I begin, again, to re-establish my healthy patterns for post-surgery and for pre-radiation treatment. Exercise and eating well will support me in this too.
I'll let you know how it feels over time, but for now, it is a movement forward for my health and my joie de vivre.
Callanetics, along with my own version of daily cardio-dance, have been my tried and true exercise program for the most part for more than twenty years. You only have to do the Callanetics two times a week. It is gentle and deeply nourishing and you get results.
Twenty years ago, I bought the original video for the Callanetics program. It is a very deeply thoughtful and well researched program with dance moves and yoga moves in mind, with enormous respect for the neck and the knees and posture, etc. It is about working little muscles, but not straining or injuring anything.
When I originally used Callanetics, after working with it awhile, I abbreviated it, mostly changing the exercises from 100 reps to 50 reps. This allowed me to do the program in 20 minutes. Furthermore, I memorized it. I only had to do it twice a week for results. In fact, it asked you to take days in between so that your muscles and any soreness (and you will be amazed at how sore these "gentle" exercises can make you if you are new to them) repaired and recovered first.
A month ago, I had a hurt neck (not good) from Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis and, admittedly, also some boredom. I had a serious "bump-in-the-road" and I needed a new plan-of-action.
(Another member over on Tracy's forum also wrote about going back to Callanetics when the going got tough with the Tracy route, which made me thoughtful. The Tracy method is and has been very effective for me–for the first three levels anyway–but hey, we all need to pay attention to what needs to be tailored to our specific needs and capacities, and whereas I am not giving up entirely on the Tracy meta program, I may need to add it back in more like seasoning or alternating workouts on a more workable plan for me as I go).
I began by taking a longish break from her routine after 30 days. Though I had had a LOT of results from the first 30 days, on the 4th level, when I injured myself, I needed some time off, which I took without too much of a loss from my results. I still feel they are very inspiring (!) , but I needed a more sustainable plan. I am just not an "ongoing bootcamp" kind of girl.
Then this last week, I actually sprained my neck (will explain that in a future post).
So where did I turn? I always return to Callanetics.
This week, I began a new program for myself: It begins with gentle 20 minutes of Callanetics (all the exercises, but at 50 reps max except for the last inner thigh exercise which I do for the full 100 counts).
I began with a Tuesday and Saturday routine (giving me at least two days in between each workout for repair and restoration) for these. Eventually, when I am ready and my body and schedule can accommodate it, maybe in a few weeks, I will add in Thursday too, just for extra toning.
I do these gently. Even with a sprained/strained neck, I can do these. And, believe it or not, even after the Tracy exercises, the first Callanetics in a longish time left me feeling the burn and the work of these gentle exercises the next two days!
But they are sooo gentle, that I have been able to do them without any fear of further injury to my poor sprained/strained neck, doing them especially respectfully to that of course.
I have added into the middle of them a select few of the Tracy exercises for extra leg and butt work.
The beauty of the basic Callanetics (beside the results!!) is that they are so soothing to do. One feels quite relaxed afterwards and (since I have them memorized) I can do them while watching a television program or the news. I don't have any dependence on a DVD or video to move through them.
I am so impressed with these tried and true exercises that I goggled Callantetics to see what they have developed since. LOTS! I plan to order the cardio (See the youtube clip above for an example of that! Looks yummy to me!) and a couple of the specialty ones. Why not? The original worked for me off and on for many years and I always have come back to it to add into my own cardio.
~~
So My Own New Ideal Exercise Program, right now, has morphed to the following:
Monday:
30 minutes light cardio (I've never felt it made a difference to sweat or work that hard for "results" but the "continuous" part is essential!)
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk*(about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
(*Note: I aim for 3 to 5 of these leisurely 3 mile walks a week on average when I am feeling like moving more or upping my on-my-feet momentum.)
~~
Tuesday:
30 minutes light cardio
20 minutes Callanetics (with a choice few of Tracy's leg and butt moves added into the floor work)
and (Additional Option Add On): 3 mile walk*(about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Wednesday:
30 minutes light cardio
and
Housework or Garden Work (It's exercise too, right?? Right!!)
~~
Thursday:
30 minutes light cardio
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk* (about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Friday:
30 minutes light cardio
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk* (about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Saturday:
30 minutes light cardio
20 minutes Callanetics (with a choice few of Tracy's leg and butt moves added into the floor work)
~~
Sunday:
Off
~~
(*Note: And, while injured, I am permitting myself to let go of the 30 minutes cardio for now, so I can heal, and emphasizing the walking, when I can, instead. And I am being more careful with the calories as I will explain in a post over the next week.)
~~
There is freedom in having an exercise program that you can adapt to your own needs and that frees you from necessarily needing DVDs or gyms or studios to go to.
And, I am so impressed with the glimpse of the new Callanetics cardio, that I am going to order it and try it and a couple of the other new videos out and maybe mix them up a bit! Hey! Why not?!
(P.S. And I'll let you know, down the road how they work out for me too! Promise!)
I'd love to hear about any of your own altered–specific to your own needs–adapted programs and how they serve you. But thought you might enjoy hearing about mine too!
-bbffair
(P.S. Callanetics has a killer inner thigh exercise: You sit on the floor with your legs outstretched towards a chair and put your feet (middle of the soles) on the outside legs of the chair and squeeze your legs and thighs together as hard as you can, keeping up the intensity of the squeeze for the slow count of 100 and then release and you feel amazing afterwards too.)
Isn't this an appetizing image!! All that delicious life force laid out before you.
Looking at, smelling, handling the food with joy and appreciation is all a part of healthy eating. When I am buying food, I want it to be beautiful and to call to me. I want it in my kitchen, in my vegetable drawer. Isn't it a wonderful experience to go to a farmer's market or a place like Whole Foods where they make walking through the produce department so inviting!
(I remember when "health food" had a lot of very depressing and anemic-looking glum people hanging around drab bins of oats with brown paper bags. No more!! Back then I thought that if that was health food, I wanted me my decadent food. Eating right needs to be attracting, don't you think! Marketers finally caught on. Nowadays, it is with relish that we walk through health food displays.)
It seems to me the first order of business in eating right is to enjoy it thoroughly! The tastes, smells, textures, colors, variations. I no longer feel that way about sugary heavy foods that used to call out trying to seduce me, and although I still love a fine wine or a sweet dessert now and then, I let my senses be drawn towards the life energy of naturally good-for-me foods. And when I prepare food or cook, I like to smell each ingredient, pick up the vibration and the energy of it all and enjoy being in my kitchen. And I love the presentation of serving it like works of art.
It can be such a nourishing practice to love and appreciate your food knowing it is perfect and will be good for you.
So that's your assignment, if you aren't doing it already. Go out shopping next time leaving any old thoughts about that bakery section behind and let the fruits and vegetables section of your market have at it with you and shift your allegiances.
May The Force Be With You!
-bbffair
[This great picture today of Fruits and Vegetables came from http://www.knowabouthealth.com]
Tip for the Day: when you are eating out, you can learn to ask for "double vegetables" and skip the starch, fresh fruit for dessert, and skip the cheese in your omelet. (Did you notice that I do!)
Isn't this a beautiful tomato? Even seeing it appeals to me. Full of antioxidents and vitamins and flavor, the way food is supposed to appeal to us.
But what about the junk-food we take in?
It's been my own experience that you have to wean yourself from addictive, non-healthy eating patterns. For example, wheat, glutton, sugary deserts, starchy foods, wine, beer, fatty and fried food, cheese, artificial and overly processed foods are almost all culprits for many of us that lead our health astray. Not because they can't be fun in small or occasional doses, but because, when overly-consumed, they don't support our health.
What is interesting is that the body, when acclimated to regular consumption of some of these "non-food food products," thinks and responds to them like they are necessary food. They are not.
However, until the body weans itself from these often addictive-like substances, it will still want them.
In my experience, replacing non-food food products with really, really delicious, healthy, life-impregnated, beautiful, and great tasting food is essential to that. You have to give the body something that it will like and learn to like more than the stuff that isn't so good for it. And the body needs time to re-realize that this healthy and delicious food ups the quality of energy, sleep, joy, and life itself.
I have a theory that it takes about five days to make the first shift towards that readjustment. At that point, you pass into the next stage, where you still might think about the life-depleting food, but you are actually starting to also experience actual nourishment. Three more days passes you through that danger period. Don't slip!
After this there are two more important shifts (of five days and three days each) wherein the draw towards life-depleting foods continues to ease up and disappear and a body readjustment occurs. In each phase, it gets easier because the body is getting better nutrients and starting to experience more health and balance. As the body feels better, it more easily convinces the mind that it likes healthy food choices too.
For example, I am allergic to wheat. One of the ways my body responds to that allergy, when exposed to too much wheat, is by craving it. (I found out that this is apparently a common reaction to a food allergy.) Now, I can still have occasional wheat in small doses, but if I have it all the time, my body starts to think it needs it.
When I've gotten myself to this point, I need to wean my body of it and the first five days without it are the hardest. After that, it's basically out of my system and the rest is more of a distancing from the wheat. Each stage frees my body–and my mind–from wanting this allergic substance more and more, and by Day 24, I am free of it and I have established a new, sustainable, nourishing eating pattern.
So, if you are giving up something not-so-good for you that you crave, understanding these weaning stages might be helpful:
Day 5 : 5 days gets bad foods out of system = less craving for them
Day 8 : 3 days past thinking you can now control the craving
Day 13: 5 days gets you further from the old cravings and gives body more healthy balance
Day 16: 3 days past a lighter temptation period to revert
Day 21: 5 days gets you further away from any lingering cravings and towards a more sustainable health
Day 24: 3 days past an even lighter mental temptation to revert
Good food satisfies the body. It does not make the body want to overeat (or give you headaches or put you in a bad mood or drain you of energy, etc.). And, yes, sometimes we all crave something a little salty, a little sweeter, a little more filling. But when the body is in balance, it will crave the healthier of those choices, not the least healthy.
It seems to me the first step in change or in a journey is always the hardest. You are up against a pattern and a known set of habits that you are changing.
That's why it is so important in the beginning to just put one foot in front of the other and do it.
As the body adjusts to being treated in healthy ways, it will respond by liking that.
After that, like in any journey, one acclimates and gains confidence as they continue. One step builds upon the next. A rhythm is established and it serves you and carries you forward.
Taking a map of the stars–those heavenly beings that light up in the dark of night and show you there is majesty all around you–is a good idea too. You can steer by the heavens and know where you're heading.
Sometimes it can be interesting and an adventure to get lost or to take detours and see or experience things you never would have otherwise. But sometimes, you can get too far off-track or even breakdown or find yourself in a flat-tire time out.
Too bad they don't have road assistance for dieters, or for people moving towards a healthier lifestyle, because, like on any journey, there will be ruts in the road.
There are several danger zones that you can count on needing awareness around such as:
-anytime the workout becomes boring or unlikeable or too monotonous
-when you have had results and fall off (i.e. you meant to get to L.A., but you got distracted and landed in Tuscon instead, then got homesick and turned around, etc.)
-when you aren't in a present *connected* mode with yourself (the *other* reasons why your body got out of shape)
and other such times.
This is when we need to have PLANS-OF-ACTION for when it gets tough or discouraging or you snag on one of those ruts in the road. (Perhaps it could be called The Pot-Hole-Plan?) And one of the things about detours, is that they may have necessary-information that you need to stop and gather so that you are really going in the right direction for YOU.
For me, one of my plans-of-action is to notice as my body starts to adjust to a new pattern. Okay, I had to force it to do what it didn't think it wanted to do for awhile and now it's working with me. I'm feeling more alive and I've established a pace, which is GREAT. But it's important to listen to what the body wants to do too and to let yourself, your body, have FUN, to change it up. FUN will go a long way to keeping things moving in the right direction or to putting you back on the right road. So having FUN on a physical level is key important! It's always a good idea to try and remember what you love to do, not just for exercise, but for the joie de vivre.
I love to dance. I have always felt that when I am on a dancing path, that it naturally fills my life with light and balance and vitality. I do my very best if I live near and am involved in a dance community or a place where I can go out (Allie McBeal after-work style) and dance or rock-n-roll on a regular basis. It's so much fun for me that I enjoy myself too much to not do it.
However sometimes that's not available, so I have to be more creative. But if I remember that I am a dancer at heart, it's good information.
Another thing I love to do is go on walking vacations; full-on, month-or-more, long ones to places like the Grand Canyon or the ocean where I can walk on the earth and feel my life. Those have been truly transformative, not just because I get in great shape that way, but because I am also connecting to this beautiful planet with my core life force and spirit. But again, that is also something I can't yet do out in nature everyday where I live now. I have to save up and plan for those wonderful treats. (Someday I hope to walk Ireland and maybe even the Great Wall of China!!)
But knowing that these are things that really inspire me on multiple levels of my being helps me to look for closer, more attainable fun things my body–and my spirit–wants to do.
So I'm wondering, if you are reading along with me, what are your FUN or INSPIRING ways of moving or transforming, not just when you are trying to get from here to there, but things you love to do when everything is just fine the way you like it best?
And do you have plans-of-action? I'd love to hear about them.
I just got reminded of what sometimes works when all I want to do is zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
12 minutes.
I need three good songs. I can dance for three good songs and that's about 12 minutes. Or, I can handle 12 minutes jogging in place watching TV.
A coach I worked with once told me the biggest mistake women make is to aim for bigger goals than they can face. It's one of her secrets of success. If you aim for something very small, then Voila! Success! You've done it! You can do that!!
Then, if you want, everything more than that little increment is extra!
It's sort of a mind-game for me. If I can make it FUN!, no problemo (and I'll say more about ways I like to do that in another post). But sometimes, exercise is just plain not fun and hard work and then just thinking about 30-35 minutes is too much for me to want to do. But even then, I really can't argue too much with 12 minutes of effort.
So it's a mind game. And most of the time, after 12 minutes, I can do another 12 minutes and then a third. I know the 30-35 minutes is going to give me the best results, but some days are harder than others.
Keeping to the 12 minutes as a base goal for days I don't feel like it, keeps me on a daily path. After my 12 minutes, if I really am still feeling beat , then I did my minimum and I stop, for the day, but I still accomplished staying with the program.
Likewise, sometimes I have to take the mat work in increments too and stop after each section for a mini-break.
But the most important part is the staying with a daily minimum effort part.
So, when I get burned out, tired, sluggish, etc., the worst thing I can do is drop the ball entirely. I have to remember to break it down into minimum increments, find three great songs, and remember the 12 minute principle.
Right now, my three songs are going to be from The Rolling Stones, Stripped CD!!!
There are bodies that seem to be meant to be rounder, fatter. They even seem holy in their plumpness, like they are in their perfect state. I would not change an ounce of them. They radiate their own beauty and also, an indescribable centeredness that seems to calm and set at ease all those around them. They are special people with their own inner gravity and grounding. They, in all their roundness, are naturally beings of light.
But, in our culture, I have also seen people, women in particular, who are not naturally or spiritually meant to be round or fat. For them, it is not a beautiful state. It is in fact a way that they exhibit that something is out of balance or missing, that they have lost a sense of themselves as beings of beauty, alive and glowing. Instead, their fatness bogs them down, covers them over in something else, more often something hard to define that has slowly crept over them causing such discomforts as a growing sluggishness or loss of their natural energy, a sense of living in a shadow, despair, or even depression, a lingering self-doubt or a loss of self-confidence even when they are brilliant thinkers, a disconnect from the true essence of themselves, even self-loathing.
There is a sense of being forgotten, either by others or by themselves or a sense of needing insulation, protection, shelter inside a layer of dullness or fat against the world. It can exhibit itself in a subtle way or in an obese way. But a woman in this state of unnaturalness in her own body is always uncomfortable in herself. She is missing her light.
I have had to wonder long and hard about myself when I have lost my self, my body, in such a state at times in my life. For me, it has felt like a dead place, a stuck place. I can point from there to some lighter, freer place I used to be, but it is like I cannot move, like my feet are embedded in a cement when I am in that dreary world, my energy is disconnected, while I watch my life moving in increments on and away from me. In a way, it is a place where I've arrived when I've given up. Too much went wrong, too many disappointments, I'd wandered too deep in the muck of my problems and found myself mired in it and too tired to keep trying so very very hard. Too too tired to try at all.
So, sometimes, maybe, we have to give up. Hit bottom. And then as our feet touch the final bedrock of ourselves, or of the state we've arrived in, we know this is it. This is the bottom. We can rest there awhile. We can stay there. It is almost comforting. We are so exhausted. We don't have to worry anymore. We have gone to the bottom of ourselves.
Which may not be such a bad thing. Maybe it is a process. An extreme process perhaps. One we are often warned to avoid. But because so many of us go there (in our own way, and for one person, that might be just a dulling down, a loss of vitality, for another it will show up as a twenty pound disconnect from their life force, while for still another, as a hundred pound one) perhaps it has a wisdom to offer us. We see our heavy dense self and in the weight of all that, we find the light that will lead us out. Or the reason, perhaps, why we don't want to come out.
For some people, it is the loss of a sense of being loved, either by themselves or others or maybe both. For some it is sex that drives them there, fear of sex (yes, it is still a place of great confusion and/or anxiety for many people and weight is a way to hide from sex) or disappointment in sex. For another person, it is loss. In their insulation, they are comforted from feeling what is unbearable to feel. There are many reasons, even a reason as simple as comfort. Did food and drink comfort you when nothing and no one else did? Comfort is a powerful substance.
There are many reasons we find ourselves in such a state. Some are conscious. We know what they are. Others evade us. They hide and play games with us.
Do you know how you got here? What are your stories? All of them are revealing and healing and hold keys, I believe, to opening the way back to our light.
