Today I finished my radiation treatments. I never thought I would make it. Every single day it was like that for me.
I cannot thank enough the amazing staff at the Radiation Department of University of Michigan Hospital that worked every day to get me through, who were so very very kind and gentle with me. This was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Here is to healing light that it may touch all of us when and where we need it the most.
I found these awesome photographs of statues of Shiva dancing that I thought I would post today. This is definitely in the zone. This is how the body feels when it is free and light and dancing, when you let go and become one with your movement and your life force.
These beautiful statues led me on a journey to re-look up Shiva and Shakti, who is his counter-part. I love it when mythology shows up and calls out. There is always some morsel of something potent that is there.
This is some of what I found:
On Wikipedia:
"Shiva (ta: சிவன் ) ; (/ˈʃɪvə/; Sanskrit: शिव Śiva, meaning "auspicious one") is a major Hindudeity, and is the destroyer god or transformer among the Trimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine. God Shiva is a yogi who has notice of everything that happens in the world and is the main aspect of life. Yet one with great power lives a life of a sage at Mount Kailash.[2] In the Shaiva tradition of Hinduism, Shiva is seen as the Supreme God. In the Smarta tradition, he is regarded as one of the five primary forms of God.[3] Followers of Hinduism who focus their worship upon Shiva are called Shaivites or Shaivas (Sanskrit Śaiva).[4]Shaivism, along with Vaiṣṇava traditions that focus on Vishnu and Śākta traditions that focus on the goddessShakti, is one of the most influential denominations in Hinduism.[3]
Lord Shiva is usually worshipped in the abstract form of Shiva linga. In images, He is represented as a handsome[5] young man[6] immersed in deep meditation or dancing the Tandava upon Apasmara, the demon of ignorance in his manifestation of Nataraja, the Lord of the dance, goodness, humility, and every good quality a human should have. It is said that He looks like an eternal youth because of his authority over death, rebirth and immortality. He is also the father of Ganesha and Murugan ; (taமுருகன் ) ;(Kartikeya)."
and
"Shakti (Devanagari: शक्ति) from Sanskritshak - "to be able," meaning sacred force or empowerment, is the primordial cosmic energy and represents the dynamic forces that are thought to move through the entire universe in Hinduism.[1] Shakti is the concept, or personification, of divine feminine creative power, sometimes referred to as 'The Great Divine Mother' in Hinduism. On the earthly plane, Shakti most actively manifests through female embodiment and creativity/fertility, though it is also present in males in its potential, unmanifest form.[2]
The Kundalini-shakti from the Yoga tradition: life force/sexual energy that can be awakened for conscious creativity.
Not only is the Shakti responsible for creation, it is also the agent of all change. Shakti is cosmic existence as well as liberation, its most significant form being the Kundalini Shakti,[3] a mysterious psychospiritual force.[4] Shakti exists in a state of svātantrya, dependence on no-one, being interdependent with the entire universe.
In Shaktism, Shakti is worshiped as the Supreme Being. However, in other Hindu traditions of Shaivism and Vaishnavism, Shakti embodies the active feminine energy Prakriti of Purusha, who is Vishnu in Vaishnavism or Shiva in Shaivism. Vishnu's female counterpart is called Lakshmi, with Parvati being the female half of Shiva."
More simply, the male Shiva, embodies transformation, and the female Shakti creativity.
The Secret of Shiva and Shakti Swami Jnaneshvara Bharati(endless audio loop*)
Shiva and Shakti are one and the same.
There is no place that He is not.
There is no place that She is not.
They are one and the same.
She is in every thing.
She is in every word.
She is all there is.
See Her in all things.
Hear Her in all sounds.
Know Her in all thoughts.
Feel Her in all feelings.
She is all there is.
She is the one in the three worlds**.
Shiva and Shakti are one and the same.
That is the secret.
(Shiva is the universal latent or masculine energy,
and Shakti is the universal active or feminine energy.)
But, for me, it feels very much like the statues tell it all. There is beauty that dances, life in movement and movement in life.
On the dancing path, one may only sense that freedom at first, but as the body lightens up, when one begins to embody that lightness, the dance become exquisite.
I have had 11 radiation treatments out of a prescribed 30 treatment schedule so far that I began on October 27th.
After 6 treatments, I felt I could not go on. But my medical team convinced me to continue. This is a hard, hard road to travel, a day-by-day one.
This past October was Breast Cancer Awareness month and wow, I have never been so aware of it.
I cannot stress enough how much we need our health and good living and even then, this miserable disease can strike.
First the fear. Then the shock. Then the surgery. The pain of surgery and the relief of getting the disease out of you in time. They got it all. They got clear margins. The surgery included taking two lymph nodes to see if it had traveled. Both were clean. Another blessing. But sooner or later you have to look in the mirror and face the shock and loss that comes with missing a part of yourself. I had a lumpectomy, but anyway you slice it, it is a partial masectomy and they take more than a lump. And then there is the too long recovery, the pain, the medicated days, the weakness. I spent long weeks sleeping and sitting on the couch reading.
When my strength came back, I was overjoyed. It feels so good, so delicious to jump, to stretch, to feel my vitality again. I have never been a fan of bras, but for now I have to do my aerobics in a sports bra to keep things from hurting, but I'm jumping and dancing again. I'm fairly small on top so with clothes on, even just a sports bra, you'd never know I'd had the surgery. Even naked, it's not too bad anymore, not as drastic as it seemed (like a deflated tire) right after surgery and more like a bite out of my missing lower breast. I try to love it even more these days. It saved my life by presenting the lump early. And after radiation, if it still needs a nip and tuck using some part of my body fat or muscle, these hero docs know how to put you back together.
I love my hero docs. My breast surgeon is the handsomest guy with a big smile and kind eyes and he oozes confidence. It's very helpful to have doctor heroes, especially very handsome ones too. I call mine my Dudley Do Right. He has that kind of Dudley Do Right great hair. And all I ever wanted him to say to me was: "I'll save you, Nell!"
I got a go free from the chemo experience. They have these impressive, expensive tests called Oncotype DX where they send a part of your lump to California and they analyze 21 genes in it that can help predict whether or not you should have it. These tests save lots of women (like me) from having to undergo such a huge and invasive treatment. Yeah!
But with a lumpectomy, radiation is part of the treatment. I was trying to look at it like intense sunlight therapy.
I'm still trying to be as positive as I can. But this is hard and absolutely shocking to my system. It drains you and can be painful and make you feel so sick and is a very intense thing to go through.
In the beginning of an adventure in getting your body beautiful or back to beautiful, weight wise, there can be all these amazing BIG results. They are impressive and ever so sweet.
But then comes the times when you hit plateaus. The going is slower, more precise, more streamlined.
Once you are "in your zone" this is more apt to happen. But this is a VERY GOOD THING.
Many of us are conditioned to believe this is where we are stuck or not making progress. (And, where that might be the case, it might be something much, much better than that. Though if we are stuck on our progress, we might need to make an adjustment, add or subtract something, have a few earlier, lighter dinners, something.)
But today I am not thinking about the kind of plateaus associated with being stuck. Instead, I am thinking about the ones where your body is deeply adjusting and becoming one with its newer lighter being. It is memorizing and learning to live there. And that is a sign that this is a very nice place for the body to be in. Let it find its feet, stop upon the journey, and look out at (and from) the beautiful landscape and take some time to truly drink it in.
The definition of a plateau is: an elevated, fairly stable and level ground, something one might have climbed high or long, or with great effort to arrive at.
In the zone, your body may want to stay at or close to its new weight for awhile. My body likes to go up and down about 4 pounds for about four weeks each month as it adjusts and relaxes into the lighter weight. Then it lets go of the upper level and moves gently and naturally lighter the next month another 2-4 pounds. Now I know that is not as drastic and freaky-thrilling as losing a ton in the beginning. (And, by the way, if you boot camp your way ALL the way up, you are much more likely to crash and end up at the bottom again and all defeated. So don't do that!)
But this is the part of the path that's perfect for gentle, natural, beautiful, healthful deepening momentum. The marathon part is over and the dance is poetic and sweet and totally to be enjoyed. It will release what may be left to release in its own perfect time. Your job is to fall into harmony with your body and believe again in the beautiful creature that you are.
By the way, isn't the picture above breathtaking! It's Castle Rock in Sedona, Arizona, a place of beautiful energy and healing. I've been there and been awed.
The photograph is kindly offered for sharing by the photographer named Grombo and is shared here by courtesy of Wikimedia Commons. Info to look at his portfolio is below.
This wonderful thing happened to me around late July. I felt good about my body shape. I wasn't model perfect. But I was in my zone and I could feel it and see it. I could go out shopping and try on new clothes. I was stepping out more and more and then I got on a scale. (Well, I had to. I was beginning cancer treatment and they make you weigh in a lot.) So I got not just a sense of how it feels, but a sense of what it translates to actually.
Now, for me –I'm 5' 6-1/2"– I have a pretty large zone, about twenty-five pounds in which (so long as I am exercising and keeping up my muscle tone) I look and feel pretty good about myself.
At the top of my zone, I look good in and out of clothes. Above the top of it, I feel unable to get on a scale (i.e. fat).
At the lower end of the scale, I'm model thin or what I weighed when I was fourteen, only I'm more shapely in good ways. Below that, I feel and look anorexic and sickly.
However, for the most part, anywhere in my zone is a good place to be because none of it is *bad.* And even gradually moving towards hanging out in the middle of my zone is even more rewarding. It's healthy, alive, vibrant, and attractive.
Arriving in one's *zone* is a really cool thing if you've ever been out there in outer-zone space. It means you can relax. It's also motivating. You're not "on a diet" so much as you're in a LIFEstyle!
It is also helpful at the entrance of your zone for you to also get on the scale a LOT so you know what's going on within your zone. It's kind of like a doable reality check and check-in to keep you on track. For example, I go up and down by 2-4 pounds depending on what I've eaten. And *in the zone* a girl is more apt to lose any remaining weight slower and that's okay now, 'cause you're in the zone.
So right now, I'm in the middle of my zone, which is exactly where I want to be right now as I am also just starting radiation therapy and I might lose the rest of my lower zone with that, so I need my buffer. But I am also in a very good place too: my muscles like to move and I'm eating healthy, delicious foods.
Folks, I am doing the zone dance.
Here's to all of you getting to and being in your own zones!
-bbffair
<p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net/images/view_photog.php?photogid=2365">Image: Grant Cochrane / FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>
I believe in letting certain foods call out to me and, while shopping last week, these beautiful baby eggplants drew me close. They were perfect with unblemished, shiny skins and radiated health.
I have often loved eggplant in restaurants, but never knew how to cut or cook it. It seemed a very mysterious plant to me. But these called my name. It was time for me to delve into that mystery and go on an eggplant adventure.
I bought five of these small creatures and spent a few days admiring them in my kitchen. They seemed succulent and full of the promise of delight.
So, it was off to the internet, where I perused numerous sites, recipes, and youtube videos. I gleamed enough information to dare to try a recipe of my own and see where it might take me.
I decided to make stuffed eggplant.
I began by cutting the tops and ends off of two. Then I cut them both in half the long way. There were, to my surprise, no seeds to speak of. So I scooped out a cavity in each half but kept the pieces too.
Next –and this is important to preparing eggplant and something I didn't know but that the internet advised me on– I salted both sides of each piece and each half of the little creatures and left them on a paper towel covered plate for 40 minutes. This is to remove any of the potential bitterness. I have since learned that more seeded and thicker skinned eggplants are more bitter, that some eggplants with thicker skins need to be peeled. that some thinner skinned eggplants have delicious skins, and that there are over a dozen varieties. From what I now understand, they all will benefit from this salting which causes them to weep fluids and remove any bitterness. At this point, I confess I was just getting introduced to an eggplant that hadn't yet told me it's kind. (When I looked up varieties on the internet, I thought the kind I had were too large to be baby eggplant. Later, I discovered that they can vary and that these were indeed baby eggplant, just a little larger than the internet examples, and grown hydroponically in Canada by Pure Flavor (www.pure-flavor.com). The picture -above- is from their website too.)
After 40 minutes, I rinsed my halves and pieces well in cold water. I am not a salt eater generally, so I wondered about this, but they washed very clean. I patted them dry and placed them in the refrigerator.
Next, I threw out my old olive oil. I smelled it and it seemed off. I think it is always important to smell the foods and ingredients you use. So I used my sunflower oil and about two teaspoons of Earth Balance soy free blend (from the health food cold section in my store). I heated this up hot in a skillet and chopped two big white button mushrooms into bits and threw them in and cooked them until they were very small and very browned. I added black pepper, lemon pepper, parsley flakes, and paprika as I cooked these.
I added one chopped fresh tomato and several tablespoons of DelMonte original stewed tomatoes (both pieces -that I chopped in the pan with my spatula- and juice). I threw in bits of fresh rosemary, sage, and thyme and shook three shakes of cinnamon into the mix. Then I cooked and stirred this concoction for a while. When it all reduced, I threw in a couple of good splashes of vegetable stock (chicken would have worked too) and stirred all the reduced flavors back up from the bottom of the pan and cooked this until it was thick.
At this point, I removed it from the heat and stirred in a big handful of fresh baby spinach leaves, wilting them. I then added a handful of pine nuts and a handful of grated Romano cheese.
I pulled my baby eggplant halves and pieces out of the fridge, coated a round glass pan with olive oil Pam, took a spoon and amply stuffed the halves (but not packing it down) with the mixture and put the remainder over the pieces in between the halves.
I took an open jar of Paul Newman's Sockarooni spaghetti sauce from the fridge and topped each half and piece with a big spoonful.
Then I put the pan, -without a top- into a preheated 400 degree oven for 50 minutes.
I served these with grated Asiago cheese sprinkled over the tops with a few fresh cilantro leaves.
OMG!!!!! It was delicious!!!!!!! It was Dinner!!!!
Yeah Adventures in Foodland that make you feel Awesome!
-bbffair
Ingredients List:
2 (five to six inches long or the equivalent) baby eggplants
salt
Olive Oil and Soy Free Earth Balance
2 big fresh white button mushrooms
black pepper
lemon pepper
parsley flakes
paprika
1 medium fresh tomato
Del Monte original stewed tomatoes
fresh rosemary
fresh sage
fresh thyme
cinnamon
chicken or vegetable stock
fresh baby spinach
pine nuts
grated Romano cheese
Paul Newman's Sockarooni spaghetti sauce
grated Asiago cheese
fresh cilantro
It also seems that broccoli is making news as a cancer fighter.
Yeah!!! Go broccoli!
So, for me, having had breast cancer, I am now even more passionate about eating things to help my body get and stay healthy! So, along with my steamed veggies and healthy protein, I am definitely adding in eating raw as well.
This afternoon, I made a huge tray of raw fresh broccoli, white button mushrooms, parsley, tomatoes, and carrots. I even used ample dip. I ate all I wanted (about half the whole platter) and couldn't finish what was in front of me. Afterwards, for my protein, I finished with about 1/2 ounce of walnut halves mixed with about 1/8 cup of dried Michigan cherries.
My total calorie count was 330.
My nutrition count was 100%, tasty, filling, balanced, cancer-fighting, whole food.
Bon Appétit!
-bbffair
{Broccoli, photograph courtesy of freedigitalphotos.net <p><a href="http://www.freedigitalphotos.net">Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net</a></p>}
I've been on a post-surgery sleep schedule. Which means my body wants to sleep and heal. It really works too. The more I sleep, the more I heal.
Sleep is a luxury for many. But it is a dieter's best friend and it also is pretty darn good for your skin too.
I am noticing that the more I can sleep, the more my body relaxes and lets go of what it doesn't need, (i.e., extra weight)! Seriously, this is very effective for losing those pounds and building health. So give yourself a sleep regimen and see for yourself if it doesn't make a difference.
Isn't this kitty cute? I have only to look at pictures like this and I get all sleepy in the best and most relaxing ways. I think I might need a picture* of a cat sleeping next to my bed at night for when I need help drifting off into those zzzzzzs.
-bbffair
*(My two sheepdogs might object to a live kitty and I am allergic to cats, but otherwise a real kitty can be helpful in the z-department too!)
<"Sleepy Cat" by ShivaPrasad Madaiah, courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net>
As many of you know, I love to start my day with an 8 ounce glass of fresh orange juice!
Another great way to break your fast is by drinking fresh lemon juice squeezed in water, a drink that is thought to be very good for digestion and weight loss as well as other health benefits.
Lately, I've been squeezing about 1/3 of a fresh lemon (or between 1-2 Tbsps. of fresh lemon juice) along with the pulp into my orange juice.
It is superbly delicious! And healthy! And a simple way to up the healthy benefits of citrus! Try it and let me know what you think!
As I have previously posted, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and the last three months have been a challenging time for me. I've had surgery that removed my tumor, and two lymph nodes, both clean, Thank God.
I am still recovering from the surgery, a lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy, that has left me without much distortion, but with much nerve upset in my nipple, which is hopefully temporary, but upsetting, and much fatigue. As well, I am preparing for a round of radiation to the area, which, I'm told, will increase my fatigue for awhile both during the treatments and in the months following.
I still feel very grateful as I move forward. But this is no cake walk.
I have also been thinking hard about how much of the traditional medicine in front of me seems to keep pointing, not just at the irradiating of the cancer, but also at poisoning the body enough so that the cancer never ever returns. The cure is hard. The preventative measures very difficult to grasp.
I still don't know if I can take a drug that is basically a chemotherapy pill for five years. That's a decision I don't have to make just yet, but one I am wrestling with.
In the meantime, what I am focusing on, right now, is what changes I can implement in my nutrition and exercise that are not extreme or desperate, but sensible, sustainable, and doable.
I have started buying only hormone-free and antibiotic-free milk –it tastes great!– and chicken and beef. I am mostly eating a plant based diet with my protein coming mainly from fish first, chicken second, and only very occasionally beef. I am staying far away from fats. No, not entirely, but reasonably. I still like the Earth Balance spread. And, I realize that alcohol, even though I really just like very nice wines, is a very possible culprit in creating bad estrogen. It's out for now except maybe for a rare indulgence.
I am busy exploring how I can beef up my immune and energetic systems, rebuilding my health stronger and better. I plan to meet with a professional nutritionist. I'll be blogging about that more in the future.
And I am humbled by how tired surgery and healing have left me and learning to take littler, but very effective smaller steps. Right now, 3 mile walks exhaust me, 30 minutes of jumping is too much for my sore breast, and I've had to back down. I thought I could get right back and up to speed, but I have definitely been slowed down. However, the good and inspiring news is this:
LITTLE STEPS CAN GO A LONG WAY!
I can walk a half mile to a mile 2-3 times a week and build on that as I get my energy back.
I can do the standing (10 minutes) portion of the Original Callantics one day and the floor portion (10 minutes) the next day.
I can put on a breast binder or sports bra and gently dance-jog in my living room on a spring floor for 12-20 minutes (Remember my 12 minutes post!! See it here! ) three times a week to start and keep checking in with myself to make sure that it's not too much and only keep it up or add to it respecting my body deeply, that it is telling me how far is far enough and when it is ready for more.
I can eat delicious and healthy food (like I have been and like I talk about on this blog) with the above changes (i.e. less meat, no hormones or antibiotics in food, etc.) but not quite as much as when I was exercising more vigorously. I'm eating closer to 1300 calories a day. It's actually not a hard adjustment as I need less. For example, instead of two eggs, I eat one egg. I plan to also have future blog posts about some of these even lighter meals as they still contain the good nutrition and vitamins and flavor (!!) that I like and need and that provides healthy, balanced, and balancing (very important!) meals, but they are trimmed down a bit more.
And for really good news, even while going through all this doctor-business, and even while I am still in the process of needing to regain my strength and stamina, I continue to be on a path of health with healthy results!
-bbffair
<Green Bulb -above- by Digitalart, courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net>
Well, once upon a time, I worked with Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis (and my own healthy eating plan) for 30 days and lost about a bazillion inches and maybe twenty pounds. What a boot camp! Then I hurt myself.
So I regrouped, went back to simple, more respectful, light jogging 30 minutes a day mixed with relaxing 3 mile walks 3-5 times a week and two 20 minute Callanetics workouts a week. I continued with my great healthy food: Yumm and good for you and great for a fit you. I continued to get into great healthy shape.
But then I got diagnosed with cancer. Oh no. Please. No.
I went on the scared-out-of-my-wits diet, i.e., I couldn't eat and I walked like crazy. I lost another ten to fifteen pounds from stress alone. I do not recommend this as a form of losing weight.
Blue Sky Bulb by Pixomar courtesy of http://www.freedigitalphotos.net
But knowing I was heading back into/towards needing a strong base of health under me, ahead of my surgery, I resumed my once a week Callanetics workout and will add in the second one as I feel stronger. And on the morning of surgery, I jogged 30 minutes just to de-stress as much as I could ahead of my surgery. Yeah. I really did.
It is now four days since my surgery. I've been too tired to walk even. I tried it the day after surgery and my husband practically had to carry me home. But that was just 24 hours after major surgery. I decided sleep was what my body wanted and needed and I've been giving myself plenty of that. But today is my *Tuesday* for Callanetics (I normally like to work this Tuesdays and Saturdays, but have promised myself Tuesdays for now) and four days after surgery so I decided I could do this because it IS gentle enough for even post-surgery.
Afterwards, I felt good enough that I pulled out my new DVD of the new Callanetics cardio to try it out. I did it gently. It was very calming, very respectful, more of a Ballet workout with soothing piano music. It was *perfect* for me as I begin, again, to re-establish my healthy patterns for post-surgery and for pre-radiation treatment. Exercise and eating well will support me in this too.
I'll let you know how it feels over time, but for now, it is a movement forward for my health and my joie de vivre.
My Dear and Wonderful Friends and Fellows on the Path of Light,
I had my surgery this morning. I am home. Everything went just great. My relief is immeasurable.
The lump was removed and they went back again for an edge of an area that had not quite enough of a clear margin and got it.
Isn't it so cool that they can tell right then and there how to get the cancer and the clear margin.
The nuclear medicine and photos showed very clearly where my closest nodes were and in the right place. They only took 2 lymph nodes. We still have to wait five days for pathology on those, but my hero doctor told my husband that they look normal and very good.
My pre-surgery panic, anxiety, depression, and fear is all but completely gone as I feel such relief.
I am so grateful that I have the University of Michigan Cancer Center around and supporting me.
If all I have to do is radiation therapy and drug therapy, I can handle that. Maybe even with joy. The joy of my life!
I feel my life unfolding before me like a new road, a healthy, loving, good, and long one.
Your connections to me and mine to you are extraordinary and beautiful and filled with light and profound gratitude.
I love and appreciate you all.
With love and health,
Bobbi
-bbffair
*Update: The pathology report came in yesterday afternoon. My nodes are clean. I am cancer free! Yeah! Yeah! Like I said, I will be the best radiation patient they ever had.
I am, we all are, I believe, this beautiful mix of light-filled souls and vulnerable humans.
A few weeks ago, I was contemplating how a human can get out of alignment with their light. I was thinking then, about why we get separated from our vitality and health and right weight, but I was also thinking about the deeper implications.
And now, since I seem destined for the skinny cancer diet, suddenly I am seeing it more poignantly. It is not just about getting that sweet, sexy shape going on and feeling beautiful on the outside. It is that. I mean we want that too. But it is also about shining your light everywhere and stretching out in it, beautiful and alive in every cell and in one's way of connecting and interacting with their light and their life force. And, suddenly losing too much weight is what frightens me.
So I am doing some extra deep soul-searching. I have been given so many gifts in this life: people who I love deeply who love me just as I am, art, writing, joie de vivre, a dancing fool path, humor, a sense of fun and adventure, a clean safe world, a perfectly wonderful body, a deep sense of caring about humanity, a place in the world to live where people try hard to be kind to one another, and so much more.
And I have had some issues, some sorrows, some areas of cocooning too. And if they are appearing in my breast, I wish to shine more light now. I have no where left to hide. This is so much more important than just getting fit and healthy. This is turning me inside-out and revealing me where I thought it was safe to take some "stuff" and hide it. I guess not.
I suppose if you have angels, that they see everything and they love the everything in you. The extra sweet you had ain't so bad if you loved yourself thoroughly enjoying it. But perhaps the things you hurt yourself with might also be plain holding onto sadness instead of letting it wash through you.
I'm ready to let my stuff wash through me and let my angels have at me.
This is a heart painting that I have made called "Three Hearts." It's about joining hearts. I turned it into a print and a project I call "1000 Hearts" to share with dear friends and also to help support children's causes.*
Dear Friends,
This is why you haven't heard from me in awhile.
I don't want to mess with you. I don't think I have done anything really wrong. But I have a lump and I am and have been scared to hell, which is why I stopped posting for a while.
I'll get back to you after I learn more. I have just learned that I have invasive ductal carcinoma. (I wish I could cross that out too.)
Now for the really hard news: It is treatable but I need immediate surgery. And, in this economy where our income has (temporarily we have hoped but still not beyond the tight part) gone down by 75%, we made a tough decision that was based on the fact that we just couldn't afford our ever-rising health insurance premiums. I was so healthy and I was doing so much right about that, so when we couldn't afford health insurance anymore (for a while, we thought, on a calculated low risk), we went on the "don't get sick" health plan.
So now, my husband and I are scrambling.
Prayers and good wishes are sooooooo appreciated.
I wish every woman–and man– great health.
Love,
bbffair
*(If you would like more information on how to become part of my "1000 Hearts Project" and to purchase a modestly priced signed and numbered of my "Three Hearts" print, shown above, and to help support children's causes, your own preferred ones or one of mine, please email me at bbffari@aol.com.)
" Why Whole Milk is the Healthiest Choice posted by Megan, selected from Experience Life Aug 31, 2009 3:20 pm
filed under: basics, drinks, food & recipes, health & wellness, good fats, homogenization, whole milk
By Laine Bergeson, Experience Life
I drink whole milk and eat full-fat yogurt, cream cheese, and sour cream. Sure, full-fat dairy products taste better than the skim/fat-free versions, but I don’t eat them for the taste. I eat full-fat dairy because it’s better for my health and my weight.
Yep, you heard me right: I eat dairy products with all the fat god gave ‘em, and I do it because it’s good for me.
Here’s why:
1. Our bodies cannot digest the protein or absorb the calcium from milk without the fat.
2. Vitamins A and D are also fat-soluble. So you can’t absorb them from milk when all the fat has been skimmed off. (This makes fortified skim milk the biggest sham of all — you can pump fat-free milk full of a year’s supply of vitamins A and D, but the body can’t access them).
3. Milk fat contains glycosphingolipids, types of fats linked to immune system health and cell metabolism.
4. Contrary to popular belief, low-fat and fat-free diets do not help prevent heart disease (see my last blog post, and 16,290,610 members doing good!) Science has now revealed that the link between saturated fat (long villainized as a cause of heart disease) and heart disease is tenuous at best.
5. In fact, studies now show that eating saturated fat raises good cholesterol — the kind of cholesterol you want and need in your body.
6. The world’s healthiest foods are whole foods — foods that have not been processed. Why? The nutrients in whole foods have a natural synergy with one another — that is, they work best in and are most beneficial to the body when they are taken together (not when they are isolated in, say, beta-carotene supplements of Vitamin C capsules). So when you pull some or all of the fat out of milk, you throw its nutritional profile out of whack. Basically, you discard all of the health benefits when you discard the fat.
7. And last but definitely not least: healthy dietary fat will NOT make you fat. We’ve been taught for years that dietary fat is the root of all evil (again, see my last post). But we need healthy fat in our diet for proper body composition and long-term weight maintenance. The key factor here is knowing the difference between good fats and bad fats (for more on good and bad fats and the role healthy fat plays in weight maintenance, see Weight Loss Rules to Rethink).
A final note: When it comes to whole milk, you should also drink nonhomogenized when you can. Homogenization is “the technique of crushing milkfat globules into droplets too small to rise to the surface in a cream layer,” writes Anne Mendelson in Milk: The Surprising Story of Milk Through the Ages (Knopf, 2008).
Homogenization offered two big advantages to the dairy industry:
(1) the abolition of the “creamline,” as it’s called, made it possible to package milk in
more convenient [read: disposable] cardboard packaging instead of traditional glass bottles
and
(2) homogenizing made it possible for a commercial dairy to “calculate the amount of fat in incoming milk, completely remove it, and homogenize it back into milk in any desired proportion…In effect, ‘whole milk’ could now be whatever the industry said it was.”
To put it more bluntly: homogenized whole milk isn’t whole. The dairy-processing industry decided that whole milk should be milk with 3.25% fat (raw milk straight from the cow averages between 4 – 5.5% fat). That way, no matter what cow produced the milk, after homogenization all the milk would taste the same.
When you buy homogenized milk, you’re buying a whole food that isn’t whole — it’s had it’s fat removed, evened out, and injected back into it in an amount less than what appears in nature. So choose whole milk, skip homogenization, and enjoy!
[Experience Life magazine is an award-winning health and fitness
publication that aims to empower people to live their best, most authentic lives, and challenges the conventions of hype, gimmicks and superficiality in favor of a discerning, whole-person perspective.
Visit www.experiencelifemag.com to learn more and to sign up for the Experience Life newsletter.] "
~~
And here's a link to another article on milk by a nutritionist who argues that milk has many health benefits, helps build muscle, and may aid in weight loss:
"Does milk really do a body good?
A nutritionist investigates the claims about the beverage
Milk is good for building muscle — and may even lower your risk of both heart attack and stroke.
But, to make things confusing, I have also found that there is much debate over whether "whole milk" (the kind that separates and you have to shake) and Vitamin D milk (all mixed nicely together) are really that much different.
I spoke with a friend who was formerly a dairy farmer today and asked him about it. He thinks the difference is negligible. He also said that many cows only put out about 3% milk fat in their milk and that other cows put out 4% and others 5% so that 3.25% is pretty average. He produced raw milk, but agreed, it has its risks if it isn't handled right. He thinks what we get at Kroger's is fine and healthy.
Although some folks drink raw milk, most of the milk we drink these days has been homogenized and pasteurized. Want to know more about what milk goes through before it hits your table?! Keep reading.
After cows are milked, their rich, fatty milk goes through a process called homogenization, which reduces the size of the fat globules present in milk and disperses them evenly instead of having a layer of cream on top. For skim or fat-free milk, part or all of the cream layer is removed before the milk is homogenized.
Pasteurization, named after the famous French scientist, Louis Pasteur, is a process that was widely adopted early in the last century to greatly reduce the amount of potentially harmful bacteria sometimes present in milk. There are two basic methods: HTST (high temperature/short time), the most common method, heats raw milk to 161°F for at least 15 seconds. UHT (ultra-high temperature) heats raw milk to 280°F for at least 2 seconds. Pasteurization affects the flavor of milk slightly.
The purpose of pasteurization is to make milk uniformly safe for human consumption and to improve the keeping quality of milk, thereby extending its shelf life. Some vitamins and nutrients are lost when milk is pasteurized. Among these are the enzymes lipase and lactase that aid in the digestion of fats and milk sugar (lactose), and vitamins C and B6.
The Raw Facts about Raw Milk
Because of its rich flavor, high vitamin content and digestive enzymes, raw milk has a devoted following in some areas where dairy farms supply it to the surrounding community. Take note, though, that raw milk by definition is unpasteurized and can be dangerous to consume if it is contaminated with harmful bacteria, causing serious illness or even death, especially in children or individuals with compromised immune systems.
Choosing Organic Milk
Cows that produce certified organic milk are not given antibiotics or added growth hormones. In addition to having access to the outdoors, cows on certified organic farms are fed 100% organic feed, so consequently they're not exposed to persistent pesticides, herbicides or fungicides, eliminating the possibility that these chemicals may turn up as residues in the milk. (Genetically Modified Organisms, or GMOs, including the use of cloned animals, are also prohibited by the Organic Standards.)"
~~
If anyone has any views or more information, please send it in.
In the meantime, I still love my regular (not fat reduced) milk. I worry about pesticides, hormones, and antibiotics. I like the safer route of pasteurization. And, so far anyway, I still like the way it is mixed together nicely.
When it comes to holidays and special events, birthdays, weddings, etc., I have a philosophy.
Eat your cake. Twice.
[Fireworks bychase_0305 courtesy of photobucket.com]
This sort of falls in with an idea I have about why it helps to eat alternating bigger and smaller meals. Sometimes you are really hungry and need a bigger meal and sometimes you are just not that hungry, maybe even you're more tired than hungry and you don't need much more than a light meal and to go to bed early.
So once you are eating right (mostly lean protein, vegetables, and fruit), every about ten days to two weeks–even while dieting–you may need a starch. It won't kill you. I am allergic to wheat. I can eat it occasionally, but not regularly or I start to crave it. (That is a form of an allergic reaction by the way.) So I really try to make wheat a once-in-a-great-while for me, and when I do eat it, I try to choose a whole grain or rye (that satisfies me more). More usual, for me, when my body asks for a starch every couple of weeks, I want a rice or potato.
Again, it's listening to your body. What does your body really want? Once you are used to eating healthy, when you get a craving, it's usually for something you need, so go ahead and give it to yourself.
~~
But what about when the holidays come up and you start having mouth-watering memories of food that is all in your mind or emotions? Your body isn't necessarily asking for treats, but you want to participate, so what do you do?
I believe in letting yourself eat cake. And, not just a teeny piece, but a nice piece like everyone else is eating. Let yourself eat two! Life is to celebrate!
If I have a holiday or special event treat in front of me, it can stick in my mind until I can think of nothing else. If I pat myself on the head and say, just a sliver, I am still denying myself. If I let myself eat cake and celebrate just like everyone else is, I feel happy. And if I still want to indulge in it twice in a row to really get that craving/treat-wanting out of my system, I go for it.
But there's the magic: It's been satisfied. I am happy. I can go on.
~~
I rarely (maybe only once a year!) eat ground beef or hamburgers. But on the fourth of July, I want a great hamburger. Hamburgers equal fourth of July in my family. Yumm rare ones off the grill on whole wheat buns with lettuce, tomato, ketchup and mayo.
And, like clockwork, on the third of July, there comes my husband (with my daughter carrying the back of it) in through the house and out the back deck with a new grill. I ordered my grass fed, hormone free, lean ground sirloin up right on the spot, along with the whole wheat buns, fresh sweet corn and fresh red lettuce and tomatoes, and one big fat watermelon!
On the fourth of July, I had one huge hamburger on the bun! And another half I split with my daughter.
They were perfect! And I had a nice piece of sweet corn and no room at all for watermelon (until the next day).
Without going nuts, I ate what I wanted, just like everyone else around me. And without guilt.
Holidays are meant to be enjoyed and shared!
On the fifth of July, we did the hamburger sweet corn dinner all over again, this time with a watermelon finish. Everyone wanted a repeat. It was that good.
And then it was over. No one (not just me, but my family too) needed or craved any more grilled hamburgers. It didn't kill my diet. It saved it. (Furthermore, I had eaten so well the week before that when I averaged in one big indulgence day–the 4th–and one second, more modest hamburger day, I still averaged 1500 calories a day for the last eight days. (Did I speak about how eating ahead of the holidays can be a tactic.)
But even if I hadn't, there are some days that you just have to let it go. When it's a wedding, eat the wedding cake. When birthdays come around, have the birthday cake. Have two pieces and feel totally indulged and satisfied, not denied. And from there you can go on.
In my book, that works a bazillion times better than wanting something and then losing it to that something. Now, I know that doesn't work so well if you haven't been regularly eating healthy because you are still out of touch with what your body really craves and wants (healthy and balancing foods!) But once you have gotten a sense of healthy balance, then, when you really, really want something or it's a holiday, for gosh sakes, go do it, enjoy it thoroughly (like the French!) and get it out of your system and then it won't bother you anymore.
My basic food plan is pretty simple.It consists of eating plenty oflean protein, fresh vegetables, and fruit.
Fruit Juice starts my day. I might add a protein (eggs, cottage cheese, almond milk, or whole milk in coffee, etc.) to that, but the fruit juice is a must for me. (Some people like a grain, but I am not a big breakfast girl myself.)
Protein is important at every meal, but especially at lunch and dinner. Do not skimp on protein.
(I prefer lean vegetarian protein alternated with lean seafood alternated with lean poultry or eggs, with an occasional indulgence into lean beef. Grass fed and hormone free.)
Fresh Vegetables should be a BIG part of lunch and dinner. I think they are best mixed between raw and steamed or sauteed. Go for colorful, beautiful, life-enriched vegetables.
Fruit as a snack (Think Apple!) or dessert is perfect!
Flavor. Flavor. Flavor. Think smart flavor. There is no such thing as a bad sauce or dip so long as you are smart about it, the ingredients are healthy, and you either keeping it low in calories or adjusted to your daily calorie intake. I love spicy sauces, herb sauces, soups, and healthy flavors to add a bit onto a vegie or to cook with along with my olive oil nonstick spray. Healthy, good, whole foods should also mean yummy! My motto: Eating Right Should Be Delicious!
Lots of water. Lately, I have been in love with Cascade Ice, Organic Lemon Zest and Organic Lemon Lime, that I discovered in the health food section of my local store. (There are other flavors too.) They come in nice plastic bottles that look so fresh visually too and are easy to take with you. They make me feel like I am treating myself as well as quenching my thirst. There is something about pure sparkling lemon or lime waters that feels like a special indulgence and freshens the palate while quenching your thirst. I go walking with them. I keep them in my car for long drives. There are lots of ways to have water! Tea is also good. Some people (me!) LOVE their coffee, but it's not a substitute for water. Just remember that and then go ahead and enjoy it then, but keep it in perspective and count the calories you add to it (I like whole milk with my coffee in the morning!) and still drink your water!
If you are trying to lose weight or are watching it, count your calories. Know what your set-point is for burning.
For me, when I am fine with my weight and my daily exercise is pretty regular, I can eat like this and not worry about watching the calories. This is a healthy eating plan for me. I can occasionally go off it for an indulgence and no problemo. It carries me forward with life and vitality if it is my main program.
However, when I am trying to trim down, I know what I have to do. For me, to lose weight, (I am 5' 6-1/2"), that means, if I am doing my daily 30 minute cardio, I can eat between 1200 and 1700 calories a day ( I end up with a daily average around 1400-1500 usually) and still lose weight. If I am unable to do the cardio (like this last week when I've had to work around a neck sprain/strain) I try to be more conscious of keeping the calories slightly lower (about 200 less a day) than when I am able to work out daily.
Note: that especially watching your calories before an "event" or "holiday" helps average an indulgence day out before it happens too.
Important: Eat when you are hungry, best at the first sign. Ask yourself: what am I hungry for? If you keep a well-stocked kitchen and fridge (see my grocery lists) , it should be easy to go for the right hungry choices.
Eat as much as you need to feel satisfied, then stop. Not before you are satisfied, not beyond. Learn to recognize that point. For me, that sometimes means 2 ounces of protein is not enough. I need more protein in my diet to feel right, so maybe at that meal, I need 4 ounces or even 8 ounces. Or maybe more dark greens or a tomato finish. Learn to listen to your body. (So long as you are selecting from the basic good food groups (lean proteins, fresh vegetables, and fresh fruits - and all of these kinds of foods are good for you!), your body is asking for what it really needs to feel balanced and nourished. And if you give your body what it is clearly asking for, that it needs, it will begin to work with you more and more.
Tip: What I like to do is (and this comes naturally to me from listening to my body and my own hunger needs signals, knowing that some days I am really hungry and other days only so-so) alternate bigger calorie dinners with lower calorie dinners giving me satisfying eating experiences that still keep my average daily calorie count in the sweet spot. It really helps and makes you feel like you are never on a diet, but more like you have especially good days in between on-target days.
Hope this is helpful to any of you out there. Keeping to these principles has given me tremendous freedom and is, I believe, a nice way to eat healthy and delicious!
Callanetics, along with my own version of daily cardio-dance, have been my tried and true exercise program for the most part for more than twenty years. You only have to do the Callanetics two times a week. It is gentle and deeply nourishing and you get results.
Twenty years ago, I bought the original video for the Callanetics program. It is a very deeply thoughtful and well researched program with dance moves and yoga moves in mind, with enormous respect for the neck and the knees and posture, etc. It is about working little muscles, but not straining or injuring anything.
When I originally used Callanetics, after working with it awhile, I abbreviated it, mostly changing the exercises from 100 reps to 50 reps. This allowed me to do the program in 20 minutes. Furthermore, I memorized it. I only had to do it twice a week for results. In fact, it asked you to take days in between so that your muscles and any soreness (and you will be amazed at how sore these "gentle" exercises can make you if you are new to them) repaired and recovered first.
A month ago, I had a hurt neck (not good) from Tracy Anderson's Metamorphosis and, admittedly, also some boredom. I had a serious "bump-in-the-road" and I needed a new plan-of-action.
(Another member over on Tracy's forum also wrote about going back to Callanetics when the going got tough with the Tracy route, which made me thoughtful. The Tracy method is and has been very effective for me–for the first three levels anyway–but hey, we all need to pay attention to what needs to be tailored to our specific needs and capacities, and whereas I am not giving up entirely on the Tracy meta program, I may need to add it back in more like seasoning or alternating workouts on a more workable plan for me as I go).
I began by taking a longish break from her routine after 30 days. Though I had had a LOT of results from the first 30 days, on the 4th level, when I injured myself, I needed some time off, which I took without too much of a loss from my results. I still feel they are very inspiring (!) , but I needed a more sustainable plan. I am just not an "ongoing bootcamp" kind of girl.
Then this last week, I actually sprained my neck (will explain that in a future post).
So where did I turn? I always return to Callanetics.
This week, I began a new program for myself: It begins with gentle 20 minutes of Callanetics (all the exercises, but at 50 reps max except for the last inner thigh exercise which I do for the full 100 counts).
I began with a Tuesday and Saturday routine (giving me at least two days in between each workout for repair and restoration) for these. Eventually, when I am ready and my body and schedule can accommodate it, maybe in a few weeks, I will add in Thursday too, just for extra toning.
I do these gently. Even with a sprained/strained neck, I can do these. And, believe it or not, even after the Tracy exercises, the first Callanetics in a longish time left me feeling the burn and the work of these gentle exercises the next two days!
But they are sooo gentle, that I have been able to do them without any fear of further injury to my poor sprained/strained neck, doing them especially respectfully to that of course.
I have added into the middle of them a select few of the Tracy exercises for extra leg and butt work.
The beauty of the basic Callanetics (beside the results!!) is that they are so soothing to do. One feels quite relaxed afterwards and (since I have them memorized) I can do them while watching a television program or the news. I don't have any dependence on a DVD or video to move through them.
I am so impressed with these tried and true exercises that I goggled Callantetics to see what they have developed since. LOTS! I plan to order the cardio (See the youtube clip above for an example of that! Looks yummy to me!) and a couple of the specialty ones. Why not? The original worked for me off and on for many years and I always have come back to it to add into my own cardio.
~~
So My Own New Ideal Exercise Program, right now, has morphed to the following:
Monday:
30 minutes light cardio (I've never felt it made a difference to sweat or work that hard for "results" but the "continuous" part is essential!)
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk*(about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
(*Note: I aim for 3 to 5 of these leisurely 3 mile walks a week on average when I am feeling like moving more or upping my on-my-feet momentum.)
~~
Tuesday:
30 minutes light cardio
20 minutes Callanetics (with a choice few of Tracy's leg and butt moves added into the floor work)
and (Additional Option Add On): 3 mile walk*(about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Wednesday:
30 minutes light cardio
and
Housework or Garden Work (It's exercise too, right?? Right!!)
~~
Thursday:
30 minutes light cardio
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk* (about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Friday:
30 minutes light cardio
and (Additional Option Add On):
3 mile walk* (about 45 minutes, leisurely walk, can be social, like with a friend or my husband or dog or a walk to the store, etc.) (*weather and time permitting and if my body feels like it).
~~
Saturday:
30 minutes light cardio
20 minutes Callanetics (with a choice few of Tracy's leg and butt moves added into the floor work)
~~
Sunday:
Off
~~
(*Note: And, while injured, I am permitting myself to let go of the 30 minutes cardio for now, so I can heal, and emphasizing the walking, when I can, instead. And I am being more careful with the calories as I will explain in a post over the next week.)
~~
There is freedom in having an exercise program that you can adapt to your own needs and that frees you from necessarily needing DVDs or gyms or studios to go to.
And, I am so impressed with the glimpse of the new Callanetics cardio, that I am going to order it and try it and a couple of the other new videos out and maybe mix them up a bit! Hey! Why not?!
(P.S. And I'll let you know, down the road how they work out for me too! Promise!)
I'd love to hear about any of your own altered–specific to your own needs–adapted programs and how they serve you. But thought you might enjoy hearing about mine too!
-bbffair
(P.S. Callanetics has a killer inner thigh exercise: You sit on the floor with your legs outstretched towards a chair and put your feet (middle of the soles) on the outside legs of the chair and squeeze your legs and thighs together as hard as you can, keeping up the intensity of the squeeze for the slow count of 100 and then release and you feel amazing afterwards too.)
/ˈʃɪvə/; Sanskrit: शिव Śiva, meaning "auspicious one") is a major Hindu deity, and is the destroyer god or transformer among the Trimurti, the Hindu Trinity of the primary aspects of the divine. God Shiva is a yogi who has notice of everything that happens in the world and is the main aspect of life. Yet one with great power lives a life of a sage at Mount Kailash.[2] In the Shaiva tradition of Hinduism, Shiva is seen as the Supreme God. In the Smarta tradition, he is regarded as one of the five primary forms of God.[3] Followers of Hinduism who focus their worship upon Shiva are called Shaivites or Shaivas (Sanskrit Śaiva).[4] Shaivism, along with Vaiṣṇava traditions that focus on Vishnu and Śākta traditions that focus on the goddess Shakti, is one of the most influential denominations in Hinduism.[3]
Breast Cancer Hurts
